Whores, Politicians, and the Urban Myth of Feminism
Now for, perhaps, one of the least politically correct posts in this blog, perhaps the least ‘sex positive’ (whatever that term means: sex positive for whom?) post I’ve written. This page may be titled the way it is, but it doesn’t meant that I don’t question the various issues that crop up in the immediate world I live in. A couple of years after I deferred my uni course, I was asked why I didn’t consider transferring universities to take studies in journalism. Why not? I had an interest in writing, and it would provide an ideal environment to nurture it. My answer to that was that I didn’t want to be a whore and do someone else’s bidding for a gossip rag, coupled to the fact that I didn’t want to exist in a situation where I had to satisfy a singular line of thought or ideology in order to keep a job, or sell papers based on sensationalism.
Political correctness has grown to embrace the supposed ‘sexual revolution.’ God forbid one critique certain sexual practices and/or occupations.
I’ll be as honest as I can, and if it unhinges people or those who have a financial stake in the very industry I’m about to discuss, then so be it. I don’t see them addressing the other side of the equation, it’s always about how functional their occupation is, and screw everyone else on the other end of the scale.
Today I woke up, made my way to the living room and noticed the Sunday paper. No huge deal, a regular occurrence in my household, but the front page is what captured my attention only because some editor thought it newsworthy to flaunt a ‘whore.’ So one can presume that nothing significant unfolded in the big wide world in order to have Ralph’s ‘flight attendant’ on the front page, with the tasteful quote ‘I was an escort.’ She was so important that she was also captured in colour; on page two I saw a colour picture of Pauline Hanson, our resident wannabe politician who, in the past, has been noted to give KKK Grand Wizards hard ons, with another tasty title: Oldfield seduced me in motel room.
These two stories are the first two female stories the newspaper highlights, and then there are women’s groups still petitioning for equality, debating feminism, and going on full throttle, conveniently ignoring media content.
On page nine we arrive to the continuation of Lisa Robertson’s story ‘I was a call girl,’ like she’s some kind of UN Ambassador or something. All I’ll say is that Ralph Fiennes should have controlled his cock, but maybe he is such a tight arse he didn’t want to fork out for an escort after he landed in order for him to opt for a hostess with a mouth so wide, it could be a gorge that his dick would get lost in. So a reader has to go through the trials and tribulations of this ‘poor’ woman’s life, how she entered the world of prostitution, and the upheavals that ‘led’ her to the toilet fuck. What irritates me all the more is the fact that magazine Marie Claire gave this woman accommodation at a luxurious retreat.
This is what newspapers give women; magazines go the extra mile to accommodate women who open their legs for cash. We’re supposed to feel sympathy for this flight attendant, and we’re supposed to sigh with sympathy when a racist (Pauline Hanson) former politician writes her pathetic memoirs so she can garner more public sympathy, in order to push forth her racist views in parliament.
What angers me about Marie Claire for giving this ‘whore’ luxurious accommodation is how it highlights the value of women in society, and editor Jackie Frank is a right one to talk about 'serious journalism'; a woman is prized for who she fucks, a woman is valued for her looks, but an average woman who doesn’t open her legs for cash, who works a normal job, is ignored.
A story that captured my attention earlier in the week documented a crisis in women’s refuges in my state; refuges in Sydney are turning away women because they’re full, and that of there being a shortage of women’s refuges. Women who try to find a way out of violent relationships are turned away, and whores who fuck celebrities in airplane toilets are being given luxury accommodation by the very magazines (such as Marie Claire) that supposedly promote ‘femininity’ and ‘equality’.
What bullshit.
I’ll admit it, I don’t give two shits for the sex industry, and I’m tired of people trying to sell this industry as a functional industry when a lot of people are chewed up and spat out; very few women come out on top. The pros of industrialized, wealthy nations, always make out like their profession is the ‘best’ profession, and they always ignore the ugly practices that go on in other parts of the world. It doesn’t matter to them and as long as they get their book deals and bullshit, they’ll sell that generalization of ‘we have more fun and get paid more, na-na-na nana,’ around the world.
‘I did one night’s work because I couldn’t pay the rent and I was too proud to ask anyone for money. I earned $800.00 that night, then two days later the story (about her and Fiennes) broke.’
The above may as well say, ‘if you’re down and out, open your legs,’ like she lives in a third world country when she doesn’t. She also has family, and she could have sought rent assistance from the department of housing, so Miss Robertson’s excuse is pathetic and hardly an example, and yet these very people are the people who’ll end up with book deals, walk red carpets, and be marketed as feminine role models.
The other thing I’ll admit is that I do have a personal issue with prostitution, because at one point it affected me directly, invaded my home so to speak and drove the second stake into my relationship. I’d been away with my then two year old son for a few days, traveled up the coast with my foster mother, and on my return had the laundry to look forward to. What unfolded was something I’d never expected in a million years. As I was emptying out pockets, to ensure no paper dissolved in the wash, I stumbled upon a piece of paper in the pocket of my then partner’s jeans. Innocent, or more naïve, I unfolded it to see whether it was just a scrap with nothing, or if he needed it, and what I saw was something that definitely altered the course of our sexual dynamic, or ground sex to a full stop for two years.
The list detailed names and numbers. All the names and telephone numbers belonged to whorehouses and prostitutes. I can’t describe the rage I felt that afternoon, but one thing is certain, the sex dwindled to nothing all the way until the relationship broke down. The confrontation was something out of this world. Now I realise that it’s not a working girls fault; she performs a task and she’s not to know the finer details of her client’s life but at that time I was struggling to make ends meet. I was studying via correspondence to finish my high school diploma so I could matriculate, and each time I had to purchase text books, I’d always be greeted with my then partner rolling his eyes about the price of these text books; it wasn’t enough that I was also looking after our child, studying and trying to better myself, but he – in my mind, despite his protestations – put prostitutes on a pedestal.
‘Did you fuck them all?’
- It’s not mine, it’s a list for someone else.
‘Really? So your friend can’t read the adult classifieds in the newspaper?’
My anger reached fever pitch only because I knew that his friend had the names of various brothels and prostitutes on speed dial. I was filled with a repulsion that I’d never before felt; any attempt at sex was met with rebuffs, and he’d grown tired of me demanding condoms be incorporated into the sex that I couldn’t bring myself to have.
‘You’re on the Pill, we don’t need condoms,’ he’d say, only for me to remind him about the Whore List.
‘I don’t know which cunt you’ve fucked,’ I’d reply, and sure, what I’m saying now may anger many who read this page (that’s if you’ve reached this far), but the idea of my then partner screwing a pro, who’d screwed x amount of clients per day or week, made me ill. It took me another two years, after separating, for me to consider dating, and even so, relationships weren’t on my agenda; I didn’t want to go that far. Flash in the pan sex sufficed, and I’d return to my regular life, without the sex partner because I didn’t want to put myself in that situation ever again, and I’m like that – to a degree – now because escort sex is considered some form of leisure activity; have money, will fuck. It turns me off, and I think I’d severely maim a future partner if I found out they toured brothels for leisure while I was with them.
More questions followed after discovering the piece of paper:
What is a pussy worth?
Am I a hole and little else?
How do I erase this from my mind?
How much money has left his house, and has been reabsorbed by a hooker?
Are we (me and my child) worth so little?
I think these are valid questions. These are issues you’ll never see prostitution advocates discuss. A woman’s well-being isn’t located in her pussy, it results from various other factors.
The worst thing? I didn’t have anyone to talk to, and I couldn’t approach our mutual friends because if I approached his friend’s wives, then they’d freak out about their own husbands, and half of this issue was my fault because it was like I left the door open for this to unfold; I’d known that his friend’s visited prostitutes on a regular basis, but for some naïve reason I thought that it would never affect me: at twenty two (when we met) I was rather naïve.
Many articles try to justify or place some type of perspective on the use of prostitutes and how relationships are affected. Everything from, ‘they are paid to leave,’ to ‘they don’t get emotionally involved,’ is supposed to make the woman on the other end, the spouse or partner, feel ‘comforted’, but the truth of the matter is that it doesn’t.
If you’ve got a mortgage to pay, bills to pay, and you’re finding it tough, and you find out that your partner may have visited prostitutes, it’s not purely about their pussy or sexual technique being better, it’s also the fact that you’re struggling and your partner is paying a cunt-for-hire by the hour to get his dick wet, while you’re budgeting your arse off so your landlord doesn’t evict you or the bank doesn’t foreclose. Thus, in light of the usual pathetic arguments that prostitutes and their campaigners make, that of the world or their local society a ‘better place,’ I’d say that they don’t always make it a better place, and they don’t reduce sexual assaults or domestic violence. That’s just an urban myth that a small percentage (usually those that are quoted in publications, the minor percentage, the remainder just work and mind their own business) have created to justify their own issues with their profession and if it's not an issue with their profession, they try to score points to enable pimps to earn more cash; it's an industry that's always linked with organized crime, drugs and violence, so I don't see how it's viewed as a functional industry, or one that's advantageous to society. And I mention the organized crime, drugs and violence as a result of things I've witnessed; at one point Kings Cross was dominated by some Greeks, migrants who arrived to Australia to make good and good they did, in terms of earning lots of cash (via strip parlours, drug distribution, pimping or 'brokering' deals with clients and prostitutes), so I've seen a few things - while mixing drinks at nightclubs- in order to make that claim. So no, the 'clean' occupation excuse doesn't wash and I'm goddamned glad I haven't had to see that side of life for many years.
We’re supposed to live in a world – according to the neo feminists out there - where women have made strides, enough strides to enter educational institutions on an equal level to men; there are plenty women who head companies, as well as women working in a professional way without opening their legs for inadequate males (yes, inadequate). Many countries have educational programs for disadvantaged women, rent assistance, social security, in order to enable women to get back up on their feet after adversity, but there’s a percentage of women who flout strides other women (some noted feminists) have made for them (in order to give future female generations more choices), and revert to fucking for cash, and some of these women try to sell themselves as feminists, which is why they piss me off.
Women who do make a visible difference, and not solely to their bank accounts as a result of fellating some stranger, are a rare sight. The Marie Curie’s and Margaret Sangers of yesteryear are being rapidly replaced with ‘I open my legs for cash,’ cunts who are being feted by media barons and their publications.
It pains, and nauseates, me to think that this woman – the woman that could also be classified as a celebrity stalker (because she’s not letting go of her one day ‘toilet’ stand with Fiennes) – is given luxury accommodation, and on the far side of the scene, another woman, possibly with children is turned away from a refuge, possibly to return home to a violent/abusive partner.
Fucking is one of the easiest things to do, and it’s something that some media publications do each day, when they fuck with a person’s intelligence in the way that Marie Claire and the Sunday Telegraph have. Therefore, I’d like to say thank you to the editors of the Sunday Telegraph and Marie Claire for highlighting their priorities.
So I arrive at the end of my rant; it’s likely to make sex workers mad, but that’s how it feels to be on the other end of the scale , to be the person at home who discovers their partner’s other life, who is forced to question their self worth in a relationship, who is also – in addition to their pain, because it is painful to know that your partner prefers to spend money on pussy while crying poor – forced to read ongoing articles promoting the ‘sex positive’ aspect of prostitution when they can’t, for the life of them, see any positive aspects because their very faith in relationships has been turned upside down due to our society’s fascination with women who’ll ‘do anything for cash,’ simply because they can’t be bothered doing anything else in nations that have provided them with equal pathways to financial independence.
I’m not anti-sex, but I’m anti bullshit. I’ve had girlfriends who have experienced similar (finding out their partner used prostitutes on the side), and although I didn’t know them at the time – I met them after the fact, while studying – all of them were affected by the discovery. All of them questioned their value – in their then partner’s lives – as females, and partners. Sure, this isn’t entirely a prostitutes fault, it’s also the client’s fault (for being indiscreet, or stupid enough to be caught, etc), and it opens up yet another can of worms concerning masculinity and its meaning.
Prostitution a positive contribution to society? On the small scale, perhaps, in certain extenuating circumstances, but where relationships are concerned? Debatable.
A ‘feminist’ prostitute in this era is a walking oxymoron, because it’s not like she cares about mine, or any other woman’s relationship; as long as she pockets the cash, that’s all that matters, and this would be fine and well if she was honest about it. This, as far as I’m concerned, sums up their integrity and I’d really appreciate honesty in return, for them to say, ‘well no I don’t care, I only care about the money I’m making,’ but many haven’t got the courage to go that far because if they did go that far, it would mar the fantasy or sales pitch.
Hi Betty, thanks for stopping by.
Money can only comfort a person for a fleeting time, in the scale of a person’s entire life, I think and it’s true; women are more empowered, and although some may be liberated (particularly those in western countries; the US, UK and some parts of Europe) in the sense of not requiring a pimp, it doesn’t diminish the potential danger a woman still places herself in when she entertains a stranger, and most clients are just that in the beginning, strangers. So the element of safety, that small risk, isn’t empowering. Soldiers do place themselves in danger, but the principles that a soldier embraces (as an general example), are wider in scope, whereas prostitution is all about brief sexual reprieve, personal acknowledgement, and it’s rather selfish in that regard.
Oh yeah, what goes around definitely comes around, like the saying to ‘be careful what you wish for,’ but the beauty of the Internet is that many can hide behind supposed libertinism. As for what actually goes on behind the scenes (of these supposedly liberated people/bloggers, who are never heartbroken, because they rarely face infidelity (they’re ‘perfect’ or sweep everything under the pile of polyamory), as they hardly write about their emotional experience in the face of such events (maybe they're too perfect lol), is anyone’s guess.
Posted by: Anastasia | August 19, 2007 at 13:47
I really enjoyed your post. It is so refreshing to hear the other side of things and think in terms of the greater good for all people. I, too, have read much about the glamourization and normilazation of prostitution on the internet and in the media. And, I do think the internet has empowered many women to become high payed escorts without need for pimps. However, young and beautiful with a pocketful of cash and no concern for the pain and heartache she may leave behind, these young and seemingly succesful escorts may someday find themselves married, with kids, trying to make sense of the same behavior from a husband who has a secret stash of phone numbers. What goes around, come around, or so my mom used to always say.
Bettie Blue
Posted by: Bettie Blue | August 17, 2007 at 12:19
My opinion on prostitution is a personal opinion. I don't seek to change the laws around the world, and I honestly couldn't care less if they legalize it or not in the United States, because it won't make one iota of difference in eliminating the illicit industries associated with it: the drugs, pimps, exploitation, trafficking, and so on. Prostitution has been legal here in Australia, for years, and we still have pimps, exploitation and illegal immigrants being forced into prostitution.
Anyway, this post wasn't about the recent White House scandal, as it was written in March, and while the inadequacies of clients is open to debate, it's only my personal concern (I wouldn't remain involved with anyone who confessed to using sex workers at any time within my relationship with them, and that's my choice, and I'm entitled to feel that way in relation to my self). I have mentioned it in a previous post on prostitution, of the extrenuating circumstances, but a strapping man (within the sexual prime), using a pro, needs to work on their sexual social skills. I can think of better things to spend my money on.
Posted by: Anastasia | May 16, 2007 at 22:32
Arrived through Reason.com and what is there to say? It's refreshing to see the opposite argument, that doesn't pull any punches concerning prostitution and it is not solely about the glamour of the profession, more the seldom discussed, although I beg to differ concerning inadequacies of clients. One may be ill, and require tlc if it's hard to come by, although I understand (hopefully) the essence of your reference much like the legions of men who opt to watch strippers in male groups in male dominated environments. These activities don't facilitate the man/woman relationship because the sex professional, like other customer based or focused professions, put the client first above their own needs.
Posted by: Ian | May 09, 2007 at 13:04
Thom, if the salaries were capped. I don't think that'll ever happen. I can see the advantage. No ties at all, a person pays and leaves, but it still perpetuates the Madonna/Whore concept in society; prostitutes are viewed one way (paid for one thing only) and other women are viewed differently. Many countries opt to lobby for their domestic strata of escorts rather than moving to establish a unified front, and I do take issue at that but at the same time it's not easy; other escorts in Russia, Thailand, etc may not want to form coalitions with escorts from other parts of europe, North America or Australia. Who knows? It's not like it's a top priority.
~~
Petey, that's an interesting (the class career day thing) point, and very true. Re the book, I don't read novels by 'anonymous' authors only because I doubt the authenticity.
~~
Orion, whether it's sad, I don't know. There are many dull moments in all jobs; to wait around for a cock though, without being paid an hourly rate (perhaps, depending on the establishment), is a waste, but some do other things during that time, they may study. But yes, if there's one client, someone will miss out, and that person goes home without the cash sometimes, not always, there are busy establishments.
Posted by: Anastasia | March 24, 2007 at 01:51
Not much to relate, apart from points that have been related. My few times in an average brothel happened after heavy nights with the boys. We'd pay a visit, late in the night, and see a small group of females waiting around. If it was quiet, they would wait all night for a client. If it wasn't a group of clients, single client, they'd wait to see if he would choose one from the group; the remainder would remain, waiting, crossing their fingers, while their luckier colleague the room with the client. I thought, and still think, it sad.
Posted by: Orion | March 22, 2007 at 19:59
one of my former girlfriends bought that book by Belle. It had some fun stuff in it, and I thought it too perfect to be true, and questioned her about her choice, to be asked why i'd read it. I was curious, that curiosity based on the choice of reading material made by her. To confess, I'm not fond of reading anonymous novels or memoirs, so I took it to be half full of crock anyway and i've noticed others pushing it like it's genuine.
On the subject of prostitution. It's not an occupation that can be presented on school careers day in a class full of children. That about says a lot on its normalcy.
kudoes for daring to write about your feelings. A year of reading these sex blogs, no one dares to step on toes.
Posted by: Petey | March 21, 2007 at 13:17
Valid points. The old argument, of it being the oldest profession doesn’t justify the lack of reforms. It could only be comparable to other regular jobs if salaries were somewhat standardised or capped, as other standard salaries are depending on occupation, but the sex workers would never hear of that.Do they ever fight for equal pay reforms? Do US hookers lobby for Thai prostitutes, spearheading equal pay campaigns? No
It may be different if I was on a high salary, the one I’m on now isn’t anything to laugh I’d rather put my money in other things, to invest in my future; a quick lay isn’t an investment, and yet I can understand its merits. A man doesn’t have to call in the morning, buy birthday cards, or be made to feel like an asshole if he says he isn’t interested in a relationship. There are positives for seeing an escort. Is that like saying regular women drive men to that option? Yes, I believe so. A lot of women are yet to separate sex from love, having difficulty seeing the difference. If you want a person to be interested in you for the long term, don’t sleep with the person on the first date.
Posted by: Thom | March 21, 2007 at 13:03
The others made many points, don't know what to add.
I wouldn't work as a prostitute. One point. The thought of being valued as a vagina only capable of providing pleasure and little else doesn't appeal, and I think that prostitution plays into the male dominance fantasy. Lad has his pussy whipped, goes to hooker to relieve that instead of tackling the matter and many other different examples. A sexually confident man doesn't go to hookers.
Posted by: Bess | March 21, 2007 at 07:28
Dear Eric,
First and foremost: There was no confession of infidelity taking place. It was a piece of paper that I found, and had you read the post in its entirety, instead of jumping off at the deep end, then you'd be aware of that, but the association of the paper, with the occupation, at my then age of twenty four/five, wasn't an ideal situation. Any woman would arrive to the same conclusion if she found a list of brothels on a piece of paper in her partner's pocket; he didn't confess, and denied any wrongdoing, but the damage is there or the uncertainty, rather.
In response to your comment regarding single men using prostitutes, sure they do, and? I'm writing my own personal experience, and yes I do realize that single men use prostitutes, but even if they were attached or in a relationship, a visit to a prostitute is just a 'visit', it's not a relationship. Thus, any man, single or attached, treats their behavior (their visit) as a 'single man'. That's the attitude that's usually taken.
As a first experience for a man, what happens a man meets a non prostitute, who isn't as sexually experienced as a prostitute? What happens, let's say, if a man isn't satisfied with the regular partner, something being amiss, simply because he's already accustomed himself to the working girl? Does he continue with the occasional visits here and there, as a sexual top up while he's in his relationship?
I'm not blaming prostitution for infidelity or possible infidelity, or the associating it with infidelity, infidelity does lie with the person/partner; but I don't see how prostitution is a benefit, and all the bullshit about its prohibition creating problems is just that -bullshit. Where I live prostitution is legal in many areas, and that hasn't seen a change in how many prostitutes are treated. I've seen girls count their spare change to buy cheap makeup bases in pharmacy shops; we've had hundreds of girls used as sex slaves, those who arrive from Thailand, and other Asian countries, thinking they'll work in restaurants to pay off their migration bills, only to end up in brothels against their will, and prostitution/brothels are legal in Sydney. A company or corporation has to incorporate Codes of Conduct, in brothels or on the street, there are none. Maybe you're accustomed to the 'high class/highly paid virtual prostitutes with blogs, those who are 'anonymous', who can be anyone creating a story (just like the porn star blog a year ago, where a blogger pretended to be a female porn star, but ended up being a male writer), I don't know, but it's different when you see this occupation up close, and see it for what it is. For every supposed 'high class hooker' and memoir, there are countless others who are earning a pittance, who are being abused or exploited, but people prefer to use excuses to gloss over these realities; even the supposed hookers who are auteurs of memoirs gloss over them; it doesn't exist in their perfect world. They don't campaign, they're busy writing their fiction, like Anais Nin. You think if prostitution was legalised that it would be hunky dory; I live in a city where it's legalised, and we have a shitload of problems. There are women beaten, on drugs, living on streets, being abused by pimps; very few lead opulent lives.
The only way that I see prostitution as being like a normal job, a tiny facet mind you, is the way they all talk like customer service officers: 'I enjoy each client,' or 'I enjoy giving pleasure to every client,' (even if they've rocked up from the street and laid their cash down.) My gripe, which is what this post is 80% about, is that of many of them discuss their job like they're working for Doctors Without Borders (Medicens Sans Frontiers).
A lot of my post is about the fact that there are other women out there who do make contributions - they research vaccines for Breast Cancer, they actively campaign for better health services in Third World countries, but who is seen on a frontpage? A 'ho' with a caption, 'I used to be an escort.' Yes, as a female, it irritates me, so excuse me for my stark opinion.
It's more exploitative than flipping burgers at McDonalds for four dollars an hour; at least at McDonalds there's room for a person to move up the ladder, in a brothel, what room is there? Another blowjob, to run the place as a manager or Madam? If all women think they'll be the next Heidi Fleiss, they're dreaming because even Heidi worked for someone. She may not say it, but she was brought down quick smart. If she had any power, she would not have served jail sentence; prohibition has nothing to do with it, especially in the States. OJ Simpson was found Not Guilty, so why should Fleiss go to prison? That's a valid question.
It's easy for people, such as those who get irritated when someone like me critiques what's perceived to be an ideal occupation or a 'normal' job, such as you, to go on about prostitution being just like any job; when the time times, I challenge you advise your daughter to follow it as a profession or suggest it as an option; put your money where your mouth is before writing it off with easy excuses. It's so easy to say it's just an ordinary job, unfortunately a percentage of lobbyists who do rally, have no children to be in that position. I used to have a university lecturer who'd go on at length, about how much of a 'normal' occupation prostitution was, and this person didn't have children. I have a son, and there is no way I'd feel happy if he became a male prostitute. That's my opinion or view. I also don't think it offers anything to masculinity either. You pay, you get a service, and go home. It's not a Big Mac, but it may as well be.
My post wasn't solely about what happened to me and I'd like to say that infidelity and sex with a prostitute are different things; infidelity, depending on how you personally look at it, involves more substantial things than a quick screw at a price. The post is also about the fact that an increasing amount of publications are flaunting this occupation as an ideal job of sorts to young girls, and/or women, when this industry is in dire need of reform, and has no moral code of conduct. These two things are worrisome.
Sorry to come down on you like a ton of bricks, but I feel that if one can't be bothered to read a post in its entirety, then one ought not to comment, just to pull out a minor detail for the sake of making a comment; it's not like I focused purely on infidelity. Then again I kind of expect to be flamed for this topic and occupation, because it's not wholly acceptable to be a woman and criticize it. So much for 'sexual freedom' (which also means the freedom to express one's opinion on sexual themes).
Anastasia
Posted by: Anastasia | March 20, 2007 at 17:50
I don't get why you're tieing together two separate things (prostitution and infidelity)?
A client of a prostitute can just as easily be single or patronizing her with the full knowledge and consent of his wife. And a man need not hire a prostitute in order to be unfaithful. In fact, I'd wager the vast majority of cheating guys get their extramarital kicks without hiring a prostitute.
I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but sheesh, blaming prostitution for a cheating husband just perpetuates the demonization of female sexuality and represents the kind of thinking that does lead to sex workers being victimized.
Mind you, I realize prostitution is often a nasty business - but I firmly believe that's because of its legal prohibition and our society's f*cked up beliefs about sex and the role of women.
There's nothing inherently wrong with prostitution or sex work. Like any kind of industry, its product can be abused, its workers exploited, and it can play host to all sorts unethical behavior. But blaming prostitution for that behavior is like looking at Halliburton and faulting national defense.
Posted by: Eric | March 20, 2007 at 14:13
It's complicated:
Prostitutes enable men to have sex without commitment, due to non prostitutes expecting something more in return and a prostitute only expecting a fee. This is appealing, on a equal level with sex fantasy. Average Joe doesn't have to spend big to enjoy a quick lay; high class escorts do exist as the smallest proportion of prostitutes. True, but a man will be satisfied with the cheaper (by the hour) Asian import.
The wealthier a man, the higher the public profile the more expensive. That's what I think. If a woman wants to go through the beauty rituals to maintain her upkeep, then that's her preogative, it may work for and not for others. For a non female celebrity, a prostitute earns more than the most professional qualified woman, by the hour. A high class call girl may earn more than Condoleeza by the hour. Does it mean that her quality of life is better? Not necessarily.
The hookers who worked for Fleiss had Fleiss as their pimp; they do not choose their client, their client selects them most times & some pretend it is the opposite (to make them feel better?).
I have never made the move to choose a prostitute. Chickened out at the very last minute. Shock overcame me, followed by revulsion. I realized the women at a nearby bar were more attractive compared.
"I can show you many things!"
She could show me all the positions backwards but I couldn't look at her. Game over. The boys ribbed me about it forever, they mention it (sleeping with a prostitute) offering variety and I was in the position to choose but the offerings weren't all that exciting. Did I need it that bad? No. I might have a low drive and not know what I'm talking about.
Posted by: JMA | March 19, 2007 at 21:47
I just lost my additional comment Dreadfree (!!!)...what i was going to add is that I don't have a moral issue with sex professions, I just - over the years - have grown tired of the same arguments that they make. It's like 'this is what I do, and it doesn't bother anyone, so tolerate it,' and the thing is that it may bother people, and not for sexual reasons. It may filter through to the sexual, but the onset of the upset may not have anything to do with sexual loyalty.
Posted by: Anastasia | March 19, 2007 at 18:22
It's hard to say who exactly creates the demand, but in more recent years I'd swing more toward women creating it but that also depends on their location; True, the husband/boyfriend, is definitely at fault, sometimes it's like a seesaw; there's the client, and then there's the prostitute, at an equal balance. It's easy to lay the blame on pimps or 'agents', but a pimp wouldn't be in business if a prostitute or female/male didn't accept the offer, hence feed demand.
A while ago, after I'd just turned 18, and decided to move out from the flat I shared with three blokes, one of them said to me (because at that point I also stopped working in nightclubs), 'you're so used to easy money, what will you do?' He was certain that I'd resort to prostitution, and him saying that offended me; 'you lay on your back' he said, and personally, I'd rather clean shit and piss, like I did end up doing in plenty of nursing homes. This doesn't make me any better than anyone else, but I still managed to pay my rent without having to service a 'walk in', so that's a partial reason as to why I'm not sympathetic to the excuses that prostitutes themselves create in countries like Australia, UK and US.
Posted by: Anastasia | March 19, 2007 at 17:44
Not only shouldn't prostitution be held out as an idea example for women, it shouldn't be presented as an acceptable refuge of last resort. We're in full agreement on that point. However, I will not justify the actions of a man who betrays his family on the grounds that if it weren't for the whore, the poor husband would not have spent the rent money. The demand draws the supply, not the reverse.
There is not a legal US whore within a five hours drive of my home, but if I was so inclined, I could reach a prostitute within half an hour tops. Despite that availability, I have not hired a whore since I was a kid on an adventure over twenty years ago.
I never meant to imply that these whores are innocent pillars of virtue, but I still maintain that the blame for the harm done by their profession should remain with those who create the demand for their services.
Posted by: DreadFree | March 19, 2007 at 15:45
I'll post a general response. Sure, a prostitute isn't responsible for what clients do outside of their work, but this entire profession is one that is devoid of any moral obligation; the only obligation is to service a client, and yet, the owners of these establishments, and the lobbyists expect everyday people to support this occupation when it's not even a regulated occupation. This can be seen with the exorbitant wages/salaries earned in some areas, whereas other prostitutes earn a pittance, for providing the same service: sex.
So I don't see it as a fair occupation, it doesn't aim to better a broad spectrum of women, it doesn't benefit all prostitutes.
I think it's a two way street, it's just that these occupations, those that are linked to all kinds of vice (ranging from organized crime, to drugs), always shirk the real questions. I do think that women have more options, and I don't think it's a great example for an average woman to have; for every 'ideal' prostitute-client story, there are other uglier stories, that are never publicized.
Sometimes I see parallels in prostitution and Big Tobacco. There are the lobbyists that operate as spin doctors, proclaiming that both products don't cause social problems, when they do, and they continually campaign while earning millions/billions of dollars.
To J, it's admirable that you can pay your tuition fees, but should other women resort to being prostitutes to do the same thing if they can't stomach the idea of having to sleep with a stranger?
Dreadfree, the prostitutes are still there, dirtbags aside, because plenty of them cannot bear to work a normal job. There's the greed factor, the nonchalance, among other things; either way, it's not the ideal example for women. It doesn't matter how a woman got to that place, not in developed countries, where she has more choices (that she elects to ignore, therefore I don't sympathize due to that elected choice), but it may matter in countries that choose to remove choices for women.
Posted by: Anastasia | March 19, 2007 at 13:26
I'm more inclined to blame the dirt bags who take food out of their children's mouths, and risk the roofs over their family's heads for a quick fuck than I am to blame the prostitutes. It doesn't matter how the prostitute fell into her profession. Her customers, the husbands, fathers, boyfriends, etc., are solely responsible for the betrayal of trust resulting from their actions.
Posted by: DreadFree | March 19, 2007 at 05:45
I am a little upset by this topic. I'm a sex worker. It's not my intention to wreck relationships but it's one role I'm good at. I've paid all my university fees, so I'm freed up for the rest of my life, and I don't plan on working as an escort once I complete my graduate studies. I've never operated on the thought of offering a social service. It's always a fantasy and most times an outlet (for many reasons, no I do not think a girlfriend or wife is inadquate, if the client does it is their issue to resolve).
It's not the perfect industry. I've worked in many establishments, unfortunately some had criminal elements, I'm fortunate to be working in my current workplace. We normally don't approach the media to flaunt our conquests. I thought I'd make that clear.
Would I support my daughter if she chose to work in this profession? I'm not certain as I would have little control when she reached adulthood. I didn't have many opportunities and if I could give my daughter opportunities and she chose this I would probably be concerned too. It's not that I completely loathe what I do, but I'd like to have days where I didn't have to think about appointments with wax technicians, and other things, have a morning lie down.
Posted by: J | March 18, 2007 at 23:52
I don't think prostitutes hope to end relationships or cause chasms between lovers or spouses, I can't speak on that. Each personal account has its own individual features and I can understand where you're coming from.
I've temporarily used escorts between business trips, always while single, and I didn't stop to think of what they contributed to the world. It mattered more that they satisfy my urges at the time lol than anything else. The thought of a partner of mine finding out that I cheated on her with an escort? I've never been in that place, couldn't imagine it.
I agree. There are more women who make larger contributions that can appear on a front page but I wouldn't be concerned about it too much (if I were you) as she'll be yesterdays news.
Posted by: kookiecookie | March 18, 2007 at 23:40