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112 entries from July 2008

July 31, 2008

Penis Cuisine in Beijing

News about the Opening Ceremony rehearsal has been everywhere today, but this recent item I read had me laughing and it makes for an interesting culinary story. Did you know that ox penis is supposed to be great for women's skin? I didn't but according to certain culinary beliefs and superstitions, it is.
If you're in Beijing, you can try it for real at a restaurant that specializes in cooking animal penises.

Watch the video here
.

According to Gary Linnell, the journalist who had the balls (pun intended) to sample these delicacies:

The locals refer to it as a petrol station for men and a beauty parlour for women, so devoutly do they believe in the health-giving properties of animal genitals.

So there seemed no point in wasting time. Entrée was demolished quickly - a combination dish of fried, honeyed worms that spent their life eating only bamboo, the wagyu beef equivalent of the slug kingdom.

But now main course has arrived and it's far more confronting. The raw penises of four animals - ox, sheep, deer and donkey - lie limply on a plate as our waitress stirs a hot pot bubbling away on a portable stove in our private room.

The soup, enriched with chicken and fish bones, has a turtle floating helplessly in the middle, its head and legs swirling around the shell.

It smells and tastes similar to chicken and sweet corn soup.

Into this boiling stock go the penises. A few minutes later the first is hanging from my quivering chopsticks. Ox penis, says the waitress, is full of protein, good for the skin and aids longevity. And the deeper its colour, the more effective its properties.

It gives new meaning to the phrase: eat a dick.

The phrase is often taken as an insult, but now you can use it to your advantage, and provide a comeback that brands your verbal assailant as a complete culinary ignoramus:

"Why don't you eat a dick?"
"Did you know that its a delicacy in China? Then again what would a fast food freak know about food?"



One Step Closer to Robot Sex

A new robot has been developed in the UK, one that will possibly accelerate the development of responsive robots. The implications for sex dolls like Realdolls?

Read more here.

A Modern Social Disease

Although past moments may be dead, the lessons from prior phases or periods can (and do) alter the way an issue is viewed. It's quite naïve to believe that we're living in a civilized society when there are many uncivilized things going on. One matter that is quite disturbing, but a growing trend, is bullying. A current case in Sydney concerns Alex Wildman, a 14 year old boy committing suicide due to bullying. I found it a concern because my son is the same age, and his observations at school are a concern for me because I do tread the mad line where I think that bringing back the cane ought to be an option; this political correctness of 'time out' rooms, suspensions (days off school for kids) and teachers turning a blind eye, will lead to devastating social issues years down the track.

I'm not a militant parent, but if I see bullshit, then it's bullshit, and I'm unlikely to remain quiet. It was like the time the head English teacher –who gives out uniform warnings (for minor things – even though it's a public school) – decided to single out my son. Three warnings, and it's the Guatanamo Bay 'time out' room for kids, and it's so freaking stupid. Only private schools have prissy uniforms. Public schools, in Australia, aren't like 'public schools' in the UK (a misnomer if ever there was one). Any-who, I immediately wrote a letter, and used the term 'Guatanamo Bay', as in, "I'm not really impressed with this school's Guatanamo Bay tactics of isolating children due to a uniform issue and if I find out that my son is in a time-out room, I'll take the matter further." There are certain teachers that really drive me up the wall. Their nonchalance or complacency; many of them work as teachers in the same way that office grunts work for the 'rent'. It's not their vocation, but 'it's a job.' Well excuse me, teachers are paving the foundations for children, so it's not just a 'job,' and in my view, if it's simply a job for them, then they're in the wrong job. At my son's school there are teachers that are lazy and have questionable standards where discipline is concerned, but my main concern related to incidents where bullying was ignored. I'd hear about incidents my son would see, things relating to other kids, and I'd ask myself what is happening with the education system? What kind of bullies is it nurturing for future generations?

The idea of entering a workplace in ten or fifteen years time, if the department of education does nothing, will be a dread-filled idea. As it stands, bullying is common among adults in today's workplaces. To some middle managers, it's a philosophy, only because such managers are lazy, incompetent and incredibly fucking stupid to begin with; they take the short cuts, bullying to get a result. In my experience, bullies are often the most unintelligent people I've come across. Ignorant, incompetent, lazy and emotionally underdeveloped, they may as well be sociopaths (as adults) and as children, they're sociopaths in the making.

How many letters can a parent write to an education department? How many letters can a parent write to schools requesting attention be given to a rising problem before one goes the opposite way? It's very difficult to raise children in a world riddled with political correctness. Kids are supposed to stand there and do nothing if they're hit by other students, 'because it's not nice to hit,' but today's demands don't accommodate the age old 'ignore it and it will go away,' and I don't think that mantra ever worked. I really don't know what is worse: sexually transmitted diseases (that can be managed or treated by medication) or social diseases like bullying and political correctness (that tends to condition people to be spineless, eroding the spirit over time).

Maybe families should take legal action against schools. Hitting a person, institution and company in the pocket tends to work better than endless letters that are processed and filed away. The 21st century approach to customer relations involves creating delays in the guise of 'action.' It's always the, 'yes we have received your letter/complaint and are investigating,' but really, that is only the first step in the red tape that rivals the Great Wall of China. And I'm well aware of that, after spending more than seven years in the industry of the non-apology apology, double-speak, company spin and managerial bullshit. I really hope Alex Wildman's parents sue the school and the department of education. We pay our taxes, provide revenue for this sorry arsed Labor State government, and we are entitled to receiving quality education, among other things (like decent public transport and health services). If teachers don't like their jobs, they should find other jobs. If they want to whine and carry on, then go and work in the frigging financial sector (or change professions), if it's more money they want), because having half-arsed and half-hearted teachers is only going to disadvantage children in the long run. And I'm sick and tired of reading about teachers and their 'financial' woes. They have the most holiday time per year and they get paid for it, but they still find time for strikes. Yesterday, my son's school commenced half an hour later due to a strike. A half-hour strike action by teachers. It's a joke.

What is Worse: Blowjob or Deficit?

This has been the question on my mind today, if only for the irony. Don't hate me for thinking blowjobs when I think of Bill Clinton. It's the first thing I think about, followed by, "I wish he didn't say what he did," because he's notorious for the humble blow job, but as of this morning's news, and the fact that the US will have a deficit exceeding $600 billion dollars, it made the blow job pale in comparison and it will be the very thing that George W Bush will be known for: the president who served during a period that created the highest deficit in US history and it's quite staggering really. Six hundred billion dollars plus - not what can be called good financial management.

The above thoughts were followed by other weird thoughts such as, how to recoup the cost of war but increase oil prices (that will increase the price of food, etc)? I thought of it in Australian terms. The simplest item, that goes up in price, also results in an increased goods and services tax (or V.A.T. for UK visitors to this blog) for the federal government. Instead of racking up a dollar GST for toilet paper, it is -let's say - two dollars. I personally don't believe there is a food shortage in the world, not in nations that are currently experiencing high obesity rates.

It just goes to show, it's better to be a former president with a sex scandal than be a serving president that will be attached to a mind blowing deficit.

July 30, 2008

The Birds and the Bees Aren't the Be All & End All

There are days when I am relieved I am not the parent of a teenage girl. I don't mean that in a negative way, but after spending decades sorting through much popular literature and using incredible amounts of time taking supposed advisory articles seriously, to find that most are written by writers to earn money (which is a natural thing), I fail to see how certain approaches to sex education are educational and I've often thought that girls are being 'trained' or conditioned to perform tasks a certain way.

Some books are like the domestic advice book of yester-decade. Instead of teaching girls to cook soufflés, they provide a general list of tips to satisfy – you guessed it – men. In other words, a level of heterocentricity exists. A book titled, "Deal with It!: A Whole New Approach to your Body, Brain and Life as a gURL," accidentally made it on a school reading list for students in grades six to eight, and was subsequently removed after the error came to light. The book title was accidentally pasted on the list. One parent was mortified after noticing that the book included advice on how to please a man, how to use sex toys and how to have multiple partners. This sort of 'sex advice' or education (in books) does raise more questions. Is it appropriate for students in grades six to eight? Not only this, but sex education tends to focus on the physical: how to please, which bit goes in where, how to masturbate. Now I'm not anti-masturbation, but I know –from personal experience – that it's a personal thing. You can read all the advice in the world, and it will not work until you find your own momentum, and I don't think that advising young teenagers to use sex toys from the start is the way to go. They don't learn about their body's natural reactions from using a mechanism that accelerates the sexual response. The reality is the opposite: the sexual response (without toys and third party 'software'), for women, isn't a five-minute thing.

Continue reading "The Birds and the Bees Aren't the Be All & End All" »

When Blogs Get Big for Their Virtual Boots?

Blogging can be a beastly endeavor that may - at times -require tenacity and persistence. This post follows the previous post on censoring/moderating to the point of micromanaging image. There are no clear rules and although there are many blogs that offer 'How-To' advice, no formula works, and the only advice that may (just may, but not 100%) is 'schmoozing' but what to do if you have no time to schmooz? People tend to desire overnight success, but there is no such thing  - even within the real world, and in relation to blogs, what is success? Sometimes it can feel like a treadmill, and other times, when bloggers do step beyond their blog to read other content, or give feedback, they may come across the megalomaniacal blogger who moderates like mad. Then there is the other phenomenon, one that I've noticed over the last three years:

Continue reading "When Blogs Get Big for Their Virtual Boots?" »

Kitty World with Pictures

You wouldn't believe how this new kitty parenthood has hit me. This afternoon, I fell asleep (luckily) as Ready,Steady,Cook was on the television. We experienced a minor milestone; Sylvester decided to sleep on one side of the bed, with Zelda on the other, and they remained there (keeping me warm), so I awoke and went into 'oh my God, what time is it?' mode. It wasn't too late in the afternoon, but I felt like I exited a sauna. We went through many names over the weekend: Bella, Priscilla, and my son even Img_0132 suggested 'Pussy Galore' (from the James Bond film), for me to remind him that we'd have to take her to the vet in future (and me not being in the mood to explain the name nor its origin - from my 14 year old son). Anyway, she's a cutie (on the left), but I think I've burned 2000 calories trying to catch her on film.
After three days of mayhem, with felines running amok, I think I experienced a huge milestone.

In fact, I'm still experiencing it as I'm sitting here typing this little Img_0134 morsel. You see, I've had to get others at home to make me coffee, because I can't move from this chair. I have both cats asleep on my lap, Zelda the baby, embracing Sylvester, and it's oh so cute, but how many swipes and hisses did it take to get here?
Plenty. The first day at home went smooth, considering. But day two saw Zelda on pounce mode; she was imitating Sylvester, and he didn't get it. She's used his tail as a toy, he's snapped at her (with his paws), quite hair raising for me because I've never introduced a new kitten to a fully grown male cat before.

Img_0135 Here's another shot of them from the front (sort of), ignore housemate to my left (he was having his regular Paltalk fix). While you're at it, please ignore my ratty house sweater. :D

It feels like I've got a comforter over my legs. Hey, I might melt a millimeter off my thighs!

Speaking of pictures, you will find a fantastically funny picture/post in The Erotic Garden. It speaks of fairy tales past and present. If fairy tales were true, or had a chance of being true (within the Twilight Zone), then women would have such an easier time finding Prince Charming.

July 29, 2008

How Do You Promote Condoms?

It's a simple question, one that prompts the other question: how many mediocre office drones does it take to create a silly campaign?
Lifestyle Condoms has - apparently - come up with a smashing idea of having Miley Cyrus on its condom campaigns. What is wrong with this picture? She's pretty and perky, a known celebrity, but here's the rub (no pun intended): she's a self proclaimed virgin.
Is it just me or is it silly to have virgins promoting condoms? I can imagine the script:
"When the time is right, I'll choose Lifestyle condoms," followed by a sunny smile and a shy wink.

It's Official (allegedly/apparently/supposedly)

Only because I'm not fond of receiving any possible backdraft up my ass.
Petrol companies are ripping people off? (Really?...No!) Who owns the oil companies? Interesting question. According to a recent study:

"Industry officials and analysts have long claimed there is a lag of between seven and 10 days for changes in global oil prices to be reflected at the pump.

Professor Zumbo said that was a farce, with an "almost instantaneous" rise in petrol prices when global oil prices rose.

"The lag period is over-rated," he said. "Our price is pegged to the Singapore price and when the prices go up, the changes on the retail market are almost instantaneous in some cases. But when the prices are coming down there is a significant time lag, which cannot be explained. They are basically gouging today, taking profit at the expense of the motorists."

And the oil company 'view':

"As of yesterday, the price of the benchmark Singapore Tapas oil had fallen 16 per cent since its June highs. During the same period, the wholesale price of petrol offered by oil companies such as Caltex and Shell had only fallen 8 per cent, while average retail prices had declined just 3.2 per cent.

A Caltex spokeswoman claimed the company was following the same process on the upside as well as the downside."

But what is the PROCESS?
Meanwhile certain groups are busy blaming the Arabs, but do they own oil companies like Caltex and Shell?
The Oil business -it's like a billion dollar version of The Bold and the Beautiful. The oil company is like the character of 'Brooke' - convoluted, complex and whorish.

More Erotica - Iced

It's Tuesday for me, but Monday for many in North America. This Monday (or Tuesday) sees more erotica, this time by Erin O'Riordan. It's called 'Iced' and it's about a boy and a girl, and another girl...

Be back much later, the new family addition - Zelda - is full of beans and wreaking havoc. Ah well, at least she knows how to handle blokes. She's keeping Sylvester on his toes, and isn't beneath the occasional surprise attack.

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