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September 22, 2008

Life with Kids (or teenagers): from Coke to Aliens

I found out that my son slapped a boy in class. He confessed, leaving a twelve month period between the incident and revealing it. How the conversation began? With kids you never know what will become a topic of conversation, but the catalyst has to be Coca Cola.

You see, we have a new ad on Australian screens that lists the history of the drink. When it was aired last night, I laughed at the narrator (that begins by naming John Pemberton), particularly when he said that Coca Cola was made from "Natural ingredients," and said, "yeah, like cocaine." Coca Cola contained cocaine until 1903 or 1904. Today, it uses a cocaine free leaf extract. Anyway...the conversation moved along when my son mentioned cocaine being found in Egypt (dating back to ancient times) via mummy residues; other "new world" substances, such as tobacco, have been found. He then remembered one of his history classes, when he casually mentioned the possibility of the Incas traveling to Egypt or visa versa in class for the boy next to him to call him a retard.
"It offended me, so I asked him why he called me that mum," he said, "but he didn't answer,telling me that I was an idiot because aliens constructed ancient Egypt, then I heard that, so I slapped him."
What he said next, cracked me up.
"It's one thing to be called a retard, but I can't handle stupid explanations. Aliens," he said, shaking his head. Me? I was surprised by his belated admission. Slapping someone.
"Where did you slap him?"
"I didn't slap him, it was more like a tap on the nose."
"Then I told him that he watched Star Wars too much."
"What did he say?"
"He told me to eff off. I should have asked him if he was a scientologist," said my son.
It's nice to know that teenagers are still as charming today as they were during my adolescence.


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The lad learns well from his Mum. (Scientologists) Curare is all natural, and kills at a scratch. Come to think of it, spiders are natural, and they can kill. So are snakes. Oh, well, natural isn't all it's cracked up to be.

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