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The Cozy Spot

23 posts categorized "Film"

September 22, 2008

4 Second Sex

I've never been one to believe sex scenes in conventional films. They usually depict a few seconds of a sexual blitzkrieg, that is choreographed and edited after how many takes, and the final product is perfect, with explosive orgasms. Guy Ritchie, film director (umm...Mr Madonna) is doing his best to promote one of his new films and is using the sex as a promo. A four second sex scene in his film RocknRolla was the subject of conversation in a recent interview.

I don't know Guy, but you can't convince me that a 4 second quickie is the way to go. Guy's justification of a 4 second sex scene:

"was kept to a mere four seconds, because quickies – in real life and on screen - are the “best type of sex”.

All I can say is, 'poor Madonna.' Despite all the career success and fortune, sometimes you can't have it all.

I've never found quickies satisfying. It's easy to say 'put yourself in a sexy frame of mind, just in case,' but as per usual (or as in life), quickies unfold at the most unpredictable time. One person is usually not ready for the sex but they tend to go along with it, being left less than satisfied or 'content' but short of reaching nirvana. It's the reason why I can't stand film sex scenes. They can set a person up for failure. I remember being a teenager, trying to get my hands on films that had decent sex scenes; short of porn, which was impossible for me to get at the age of 18 to 20 (I got my hands on that shortly after, and didn't find that educational either), films were the second best thing, but real-life sex is absolutely nothing like the filmed version, as most sexually experienced people know, and the rapid journey - arousal to orgasm - is practically impossible to emulate in real life. Sometimes I think that a portion of the orgasmic issues that women feel they have relates to 'quick sex'. It just doesn't give women time. The stages of female sexual arousal are completely different to male sexual arousal and while film sex scenes are fancy, they favor men.

Humans have evolved to such a degree - in terms of their desires and fantasies- that fast sex or 'reproductive sex' isn't a prerequisite anymore, but it seems that a portion of people haven't evolved that far in order to prefer 'quick sex' or sex that concludes before a woman has ascended toward orgasm. It's not like quickie sex requires a lot of mental work. It doesn't.

Do quickies work for you? I don't mean the occasional quickie, but quick sex on a regular basis.

August 19, 2008

Nekkid Controversy & 'Harry Potter'

Can you remember back to the time in your life when nudity was a big deal? It could have been the dawn of adolescence, or the final quarter of childhood, when nudity became an enigma that you had to see for yourself. Why is that?

Sometimes I think that the fascination or naughtiness of nudity is shaped by television networks, publishers and government agencies (particularly film and literature classification organizations). They tend to stamp the image as being ‘naughty’ and henceforth contribute to the taboo concept. If we were surrounded by nudity from childhood, nudity being assigned the ordinariness of corduroy pants or jackets (or safari suits?), would we be so curious about it? Would it be ‘naughty’? I don’t think it would - deep down that is.

The latest Harry Potter film has been rescheduled for a July release in North America, and although Warner Bros are keeping mum on the subject, many think that the delayed release relates to Daniel Radcliffe’s appearance in the play Equus on Broadway - his nekkid appearance. Equus contains nudity and sexual references. Daniel appears nude (check out the Vogue layout via Perez Hilton's blog). The fact is obvious: Daniel Radcliffe is no longer the bright eyed child he was in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. He’s an adult now. Why a big deal?

The delayed release of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is to coincide with the conclusion of Equus on Broadway. Surprise-surprise...what prudes.

At this point of my life, nudity only fascinates me from an artistic view, and that is the down side. After decades of naughtiness, one settles down and call it over stimulation or a media overdose, but nudity doesn't really create a huge spike of interest for me (in the sexual sense). That's probably due to the glut of streamlined or photo-shopped nudity that is out there, how everything (that is enhanced) looks the same. I'm more interested in art work featuring non-'standard' nudity, the nakedness that is devoid of surgical enhancements. Some would call it flawed, but a body with flaws tells more stories.

July 12, 2008

Novel Trailers

Budding filmmakers with a yen for literary pursuits take note: SHOMI books is running a contest to find the best book trailer. What is a book trailer? A book trailers is like a film trailer, and although we seldom have book trailers on television in Australia, they work well to promote novels.

Head here to find information about the competition. The person judging trailer entries will be none other than Stephen King.

June 04, 2008

Charlotte, Carrie, Samantha and Miranda: 4 Phases of Womanhood?

I never thought I'd ever read about Sex and the City topping Indiana Jones, but it's happened, and as it is happening, as every single article – from razor reviews to SJP's dummy spit at the secondhand Nina Ricci dress – appears on the web, I still think I'm going to wait for the DVD to come out before I fork out money to see it. Despite adding the London premiere on Lucrezia Magazine, I can't say I'm immediately sold on the idea of a film that may (or may not – or hopefully not) become a sequel.

Much has been made about the superficiality of Sex and the City. Susannah Breslin explores the views of noted sex writers, in her Salon article 'Those Dirty Girls,' and the views of prominent US writers are relevant. Rachel Kramer Bussel states that Carrie's life as a writer doesn't reflect her own experiences, and although I live all the way down here, on the arse end of the world, I'd concede. I was always amazed how Carrie could afford to shop at Dior, Blahnik, and never sweat her credit card bill. It was fucking amazing she was approved for a credit line based on her once weekly newspaper column. Susie Bright adds her view, and she is quite justified. As one of the pioneering sex writers who explored, discussed and wrote (and still writes) about sexuality before Candice Bushnell began her column in the New York Observer, she deserves more recognition than the imaginary Prada-Dior-Louboutin-Choo crew in Sex and the City.

SATC doesn't proclaim to be education, nor does it offer any tips/advice on relationships. Then again, it is comedy and is more about friendship and lifestyle, than sex and intimacy. I don't think the female characters were ever comfortable within their skin, and this has been a major issue for many women. Body image still permeates through mass media; women are forever going on diets in order to show society (or potentially significant others) they are in control of their lives. One would think that women, with a sky-high income (such as the SATC characters) would be comfortable with their identity based on their achievements, income and independence, but the show obviously says that independence isn't enough.

This morning, after my return from my local library, and seeing the computers hogged by Internet geeks (one of whom browsed every singe SATC web article), I decided to delete all my Google entertainment news alerts: talk about SATC saturation. Marketing is a strange thing. Before you know it, a film becomes embedded into one's mind. I arrived upon a sudden thought:

What if the four female characters in SATC don't represent individuals? What if they represent different phases in a woman's life based on social trends and fixations?

Let's begin with Charlotte. Charlotte can represent the earliest stage of a woman's life, fitting somewhere between the cessation of childhood and the onset of adolescence. She can be a new teen or a late teen. To her, love conquers everything but she has no idea how to define love, and it is defined by external stimuli: golden oldie television romances, the Brady Bunch, every single bullshit new-age soulmate guide, and it can go on. It is the primitive stage of womanhood, one that is draped with naïve ideas that have no real foundation, where one lives on a cotton candy pedestal: life will be complete once marriage occurs, the most important day of a woman's life is her wedding day, ad nauseum.
After the Charlotte stage is complete – when modern life conflicts with romantic ideals – the Carrie stage opens up. This is like the Destiny's Child phase; she is bootylicious and independent, making a life for herself but a part of her itches for the ideal relationship, one that sweeps her away from the headaches of her daily existence. She wants the soul mate, and although she is mature enough to know that people have faults, she continually puts herself last, possibly emulating her (idea of) mother: everything her mother failed at (in her eyes), she can better. She is the fixer-upper; the guy fucks her around, and she is left with the pieces, but not to worry because 'life is a challenge, and what better than a real-life jigsaw?' After all, she has everything or is led to believe that women can have everything, even fuck like men, and come on, she is smart enough to distinguish between the soul mate and asshole. What's wrong with having as many sex partners as shoes?

Enter Samantha. Samantha is the inner slut, the woman who is sick and tired of all the double standards and moves forth to shatter the social myths, except that society is quite comfortable and stubborn; it does not want to upset the status quo and prefers to move through the path of least resistance. Samantha says, 'why can't I live my life like a man?' and she goes ahead and takes on that challenge, naively thinking that all men live this way or 'fuck this way.' She reels them in, and flings them out after they've satisfied their purpose – to fuck – and she eats breakfast alone and prefers the company of her neurotic female friends. It's any wonder that she evolves. Her friends are enablers, and they don't find any faults within the emotionally immature Samantha, whose priorities revolve around her sexual conquests. Up to this point, she has dealt with her naïve ideals, transformed into a fiercely independent woman but fails to grasp the reality of compromise. Although sexually independent, her bravado hides the chinks in her armor.

Samantha enters the Miranda stage after she lowers her guard, opens herself up to intimacy and trust, to see it wither away due to her own insecurities, that also shine light on ideals that never really dissolved: her hankering for her knight exists in her deepest regions. Shattered, embittered and slightly rattled by the realization that relationships require a little more than mastering the Kama Sutra, she knuckles down and becomes the uber professional. She earns more than most men, and this unsettles every partner she dates, not that she is worried. The idea of never being her mother, reliant on a man, comforts her immensely. She can pick and choose, but she fears doing so, so she settles for jocular asides, sarcasm and dry humor whenever the subject of men and relationships arises at the girlie breakfast. She uses cynicism to mask her perceived loneliness. She has lost her yen for 'fucking like a man,' and takes sex as she sees it, or according to her mood. Sex is no longer about frequency, numbers of partners or experience. She doesn't feel that she has to measure up to her friends, or society, but a part of her – due to mainstream society and/or its marketed images of female perfection (fashion, body, relationships and marriage) – still ponders the possibility of attaining a workable relationship.

The above 4 phases aren't concrete, there are many phases within an individual, but each SATC character - as an individual - is in transition, which is quite alarming when their ages and supposed professions are taken into account.

May 10, 2008

Lazing Around in the Wee Hours

I watched I Am Legend in the early hours of this morning, and I wish I knew there were going to be freakishly virulent humans writhing with anger. I jumped a few times, and almost dropped my cup of tea on my return from the kitchen.

The film made me think. In terms of film making, I couldn’t get how Will Smith’s character still had running electricity for his lab and his flat screen television, but I thought ‘ignore that, it’s a movie,’ but the fantastic thing about this film is that it mainly relied on one character and a dog. There were no hot chicks, there was no nudity. There were no sexual references, or jokes.

Continue reading "Lazing Around in the Wee Hours" »

May 04, 2008

Quantum of Disaster

The new James Bond film is in the works. Promotions are in place. Posters have been unveiled, but there is a snag in the works, and that snag relates to adverse publicity. I don't know about Amy Winehouse, but it is as though she is a human version of the Flying Dutchman.

The James Bond theme for Quantum of Solace has become a disaster:

“We did work on it but we never finished it. I don’t think it will happen unless by some miracle it gets recorded and someone sings on it. I’m not sure Amy is ready to work on music yet.”

Does Amy need the muso equivalent of Gordon Ramsay to get in there and give it to her straight, something like '"pull your finger out of your arse and pull yourself together"? I think so. Much has been made about her, and some have even had the audacity to describe her as a positive role model. For what? Dysfunction? The only positive thing I can think of is that which relates to anti-drug campaigns. If people want one reason and one reason only, not to take drugs, then all they need to do is take one look at Amy Winehouse. She makes the drug addled Keith Richards of yester-decade look like a public schoolboy.

What amazes me is that there are so many other music artists out there who aren't busy assaulting people, or stoned out of their minds, to record a song.

Dear Barbara Broccoli

Sack Amy, and find another recording artist, because you don't want an artist's drug issues overtaking a film release. Surely, it's not that difficult to find another singer to record the latest Bond theme. There are so many who have a great vocal range to fulfill the role:

Beyonce Knowles

Whitney Houston (it would be a fantastic comeback for her)


and the list goes on...

It's not that difficult

Yours sincerely,

A James Bond fan

April 23, 2008

Lights, Camera, Cock

The first film penis I saw unfolded during my high school English excursion to watch A Room with a View. Although we were studying the novel for an important assessment, Julian Sands took center stage as his penis jiggled up and down during a scene. My friends were in hysterics; laughter is a sign of happiness, but it’s also a sign of anxiety or nervousness. Our two female teachers silently watched the film. We looked for any sign of discomfort or nervousness, but the two women were absorbing Julian’s…acting skills.

There have been many breasts on television. Somehow breasts are fine and dandy for mainstream films, and have been for the last three decades, but a penis? The television programs that make me laugh are those that proclaim to be controversial (due to the sexual subject matter) - without body parts on show. Yes, in these shows, people fuck with their clothes on, and all female characters drape their bodies with sheets to resemble a Roman senator. Hello, you’ve just engaged in the Kama Sutra, gone down on the person, and gave them a close up of your butthole, and now you’re covering up in case your butt is seen?  Mainstream films always follow the female formula, but penises aren’t that famous in Tinseltown. European films don’t shy away from showing a bit of cock, but American films tend to avoid it. Comic and producer Judd Apatow has acknowledged this, and is making it his mission to include as much penis in his films. And it’s high time someone did that. His take on the subject sharp and to the point:

"America fears the penis, and that's something I'm going to help them get over," Apatow is quoted as having said in December. "I'm gonna get a penis in every movie I do from now on. It really makes me laugh in this day and age, with how psychotic our world is, that anyone is troubled by seeing any part of the human body."

The preservation of the intimidating penis -as a concept - can be related to its absence in film, and sure there is porn, but a large chunk of porn is show pony performance, and if it isn't show pony, it can be tacky. Pudenda are fine in mainstream film; Sharon Stone created waves when she crossed her legs and flashed her muff, but did we see Michael Douglas’s cock? No. It has been like this for many years. American film isn’t renowned for showing male bits. It is as though the penis is ‘bad’ or should remain a secret. It is enough to create a certain perception - the penis as taboo.

Would a sector of people (or women) be more comfortable with a penis if they weren’t conditioned to ignore it in popular media? Many female magazines, like Playgirl, are prohibited from showing an erect penis in print. Many girls reach their adult sunrise without having any idea what to expect, to be confronted with Mr Rigid. My very first experience with an adult male penis was nightmarish. I had mixed emotions.

I’m all for film cock.

Continue reading "Lights, Camera, Cock" »

April 08, 2008

Quantum of Celibacy: No Banging for Bond

"We felt that Bond could not immediately fall into another relationship. He is looking for a measure of comfort in his life."

The James Bond of the current millennium is going to turn into a sensitive new age bloke or SNAB (Sensitive New Age Bond)?Bondnosex
The current news is that the next installment of Bond will show a heartbroken James Bond, which doesn't really make any sense chronologically. Casino Royale was the prequel to James Bond's career, and now it's like a retro affair. All that doesn't make sense when you take every single Bond film over the last two decades into account.

It appears that Daniel Craig has found a cash cow in James Bond ("Until my joints go I will keep going as Bond. I have no intention of giving up just yet."), but I don't think he has the type of face that ages well, like Roger Moore, Sean Connery or Pierce Brosnan.

What is the appeal of James Bond? I'll tell you:
The cavalier attitude, flirtation, sexual frolics, basically all the things that average blokes don't do, so to watch a sexually anesthetized James Bond in the second installment is out of sorts, and nonsensical. Who are they going to have as a villain? Another KGB villain when we're living in the 21st Century, because it wouldn't make sense to have a contemporary setting when Quantum of Solace is supposed to follow Casino Royale.

I don't know what is happening to James Bond. Will we see James Bond buying his jocks at Marks and Spencers, wearing an apron whilst poaching eggs or waiting for Mrs Bond to arrive home from a demanding day at the office?

My proposed alternative titles for the upcoming James Bond film: Quantum of Celibacy or Quantum of Sobriety (and yeah, I'd like to see Amy Winehouse write the theme song).

Note: Attached (and amended by me) image from somewhere on the web (it's been living in my hard drive for months), and definitely not an official Bond promotion.

April 06, 2008

Putting the Jiggle into James Bond

The world's sexiest spy is back in November 2008. The 22nd James Bond film will appear in cinemas worldwide on 7 November, and I'm counting down for one and one reason only. I'm hoping Quantum of Solace will be less clumsy than Casino Royale. I didn't have issues with Daniel Craig as Bond, even thoughJamesbondquantumofsolace he is a little rough around the edges, it was more the storyline and the fact that Craig's six-pack and swimming trunks (and trouser snake) almost eclipsed the story. What I have found surprising is the fact that many Internet reviewers adored the darker Bond that Craig presents, but years ago when Timothy Dalton presented a darker Bond, no one liked it. The other thing I noticed at my local video store is that Casino Royale (all ten store copies) were up for discounted sale and six or seven of them remain. It was more about the hype.

The world we're living in today is different to the 'Cold War' world, so I couldn't understand why there was a need to create a prologue with Casino Royale. Couldn't they think of a contemporary storyline? The other thing that bothered me a little was the non traditional theme. Casino Royale would have to be one of the only films with the worst non eponymous title theme. No offense Chris (Cornell), but you don't have a larynx of gold and you screech most of the time (Live 8). There has been much gossip about the next Bond theme. It has been said that Paul McCartney has offered tips to Amy Winehouse.

This isn't alarming. What is alarming is the most recent quotation from Bond/Craig, that James Bond will be 'fat' at the conclusion of Quantum of Solace. Now I don't know, but the celebrity definition of fat is laughable and absurd. I thought, 'ahh why can't it be like it used to be,' where all Bond's were known for their finesse and sophistication? I don't think there is any real need to sex up James Bond with a Daniel Craig crotch close-up. If Quantum of Solace turns out to be like Casino Royale, at least I can watch all my Pierce Brosnan (Goldeneye, Tomorrow Never Dies, and Die Another Day) DVD's.

March 25, 2008

Sex in Film

Being off work has expanded time itself! This morning I began cleaning my DVD collection, and counted some of the raunchier films I have, but haven't watched for some time. Some films I have bought, to add to the collection, and haven't seen since their first release on VHS.

Sex on film takes many turns. I have to say that I'm really over the frequency of missionary position on film. It's one position that populates many mainstream films and television series. Season I of The Tudors focused on three positions: woman on top, doggy and missionary. The latter dominated the sex. Missionary, missionary and more missionary, and maybe this relates to actor comfort, or the ease of filming? I don't really know.

My collection (the few that I'll outline here) is eclectic. Some films I bought for the sake of purchase, and other films have been embedded in my head for some time.

The 1979-1980 portrayal of Caligula intrigued me ever since I saw its posted at the now defunct ErosCaligula_one Theater in the city. I remember walking past the theater as a teenager, and thinking of ways to see the film – even though impossible. It was given a restricted rating, and one had to be 18 and over to see it, but that didn't douse the inner obsession. I ended up seeing it just before I turned 18, on video. I forced one of my housemates to rent it for me, and I tolerated the week-long series of comments I received, everything from "What kind of a movie is this?" to "Gahh!" Caligula may resemble a porn film, by way of its elaborate orgy scenes, and phallic props, but its script isn't stained with porn mediocrity. It came into fruition after Gore Vidal took the original script adaptation to Penthouse's Bob Guccione, but behind-the-scenes issues saw Vidal quit the project after a falling out with the film director, and was unsuccessful in removing his name from the project. As a film, it is shocking and visually opulent. Its portrayal of Caligula, as a megalomaniac and hedonist is stark and intriguing, and the sex scenes? Where does one begin: the orgies, the self-defloration of priestesses with dildos, and the phallus cake?

The remaining films I have are set in contemporary times, and one of my favorites is Last Tango in Last_tango Paris. I can never get enough of watching Marlon Brando in that film, and I do own the uncensored version. By uncensored, I mean the butter scene. This scene isn't for those new to the concept of anal sex, and I think the portrayal of it in this film is more realistic than the anal scenes in porn films. The trepidation on Maria Schneider's face is there for all to see. Although there are numerous sex scenes in the film, the film also focuses on the two characters and their circumstances in life. Brando and Schneider are engaging, real and three-dimensional, and this is something that is difficult to capture in erotic films.

Nine and a Half Weeks is another film that I initially found novel when it was first released. It was Nine_and_a_half_weeks_ver1_3 controversial, and featured beautiful people, not to mention a fantastic soundtrack, but the sex – for me – was choreographed to perfection. My intrigue increased toward the last third of the film, when everything started going pear shaped for Basinger's character, and Rourke showed his darker side, but these aspects weren't explored as the film reached a rapid conclusion.

9 Songs created controversy when released, but it was controversial prior to its release when word got out that the sex scenes would be real in that both actors would have real sex, but the film is actually loosely made. It has a weak script, and the story is full of holes. The live music in the film sounds terrible, and the chemistry between the actors may as well be non existent, so the film is hinged on the sex between them, and there are great sex scenes in the film, but it isn't enough to hold the film together as a full bodied film. Then again, one may also view the405px9_songs_film_2 other side of flimsy relationships: Is that all it is? Remove the sex, which may be good or fantastic, and there may be nothing else in the relationship. A sense of emptiness pervades the relationship within the film, and this creates a sense of realism for anyone who has experienced the sex-only relationship that has no real future.

Where same sex relationships are concerned, I have only one film – Bilitis. Bilitis doesn't contain any graphic sex scenes. The story centers on Bilitis, her observations and exploits that take place over a summer vacation. I'd give this film two stars, and those stars relate more to the scenery, and the innocence, rather than the script or plot.

I haven't included adult films that have hung around for years. The only one that I have, that I classify, as the best in my small adult collection is Behind the Green Door. I'm a sucker for, what is now considered, vintage porn.

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