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21 posts categorized "humor"

July 23, 2008

Restaurant Trivia/Humor of the Day

I am blogging away from home, from a restaurant after polishing off a plate of salmon, wild rice and veges. From where I'm sitting, it feels like I'm at a 'bring your daughter to work,' day. Housemate wasn't impressed with a customer telling me, "Your dad's a nice guy." I didn't say anything, and housemate (luckily) didn't hear him, but when I told him straight after, he stood speechless. "What the hell?" he asked, "When did he say that?" I told him it was his fault to begin with. I wanted to go to JB Hi-Fi to look at DVD's and housemate went into a tizz as he was organizing a function booking: "Don't spend money!"

"You sounded like a testy father frustrated with his impulsive daughter," not that I'm overly impulsive or anything...well it all depends. 

I decided to hang out at house mate's work, and shortly after my arrival here, I was in fits of laughter. Diners are hilarious, especially after a few drinks.

Housemate to me (about last nights customer):What do you get after drinking two bottles of Heineken beer, two bottles of red wine, three cocktails and five ports?

Me: Is this restaurant Trivial Pursuit or something?

Housemate: Answer the question.

Me: What do you mean 'what I'd get?' I'd be over the frigging limit, legless and looking forward to the hangover from Hell.

Housemate: Well this customer had all that last night, and after five hours, decided to leave, saying, "I better not, it's getting late and I've have to drive home."

Me: Are you joking?

Housemate (laughing): Does it look like I'm joking?

July 21, 2008

"Are you Warm and Wet As Well?" Slips of the Tongue

Do you have days when you think that you're in need of a 12 Step Program for YouTube?

This series of news bloopers is hilarious. Keep an eye out for the UK clip about the 'warm and wet' weather, and yes, there's a 'pussy' blooper as well.

And before you can say 'blowjob', there's this ad for a self-help book:

When Little Boys Go Bad LOL

There's a little boy from hell that resides on Mad TV. Stuart Larkin. Don't ask me what made me remember Stuart as I surfed YouTube, but Stuart is -without a doubt- a crack up.

July 18, 2008

There's a Twin Just About Everywhere

There are many positive things on the Internet, it's just a matter of knowing where to look. Such things take the edge off a crap day. Ben Huh, owner of the company that bought Icanhascheezeburger, has another wonderful site: Totally Looks Like. It adds pep to the phrase of 'there's a twin out there.'
I'm wondering if he'll ever be open to launching a similar site that enables users to send in photographs of their work colleagues or bosses - a Totally Looks Like for the workplace.

My Totally Looks Like Favorites:

Britney as Arnold:

Britney

Nick Nolte adding life to H P Lovecraft's Cthulhu

Nick Nolte, Cthulu

George W Bush as a primate

George W. Bush, Chimpanzee
see famous look-a-like faces

Totally Looks Like is bound to become an addictive site.

July 10, 2008

Vote for My Pussy

Hi there, you're expecting something different?
Technically Sylvester is a pussy...and I am trying to make him a little more famous so I created a Lolcat image on Icanhascheeseburger.com. What good is a person if that person can't make their feline partially famous?

Vote for him here. (please, pretty please, with strawberry frosting and hundreds and thousands)

July 04, 2008

Pricks

It was a toss up between Friday Funnie and 'If Only,' for a title and then I settled for 'pricks'.
Pricks

June 08, 2008

Crude Joke

"I went into the gas station today and asked for five dollars worth of gas...

The clerk farted and gave me a receipt."

***

I love email, for the jokes. Talk about a joke for our times huh?

May 30, 2008

The Most Amusing Dating Service

It's not a real dating service, but imagine if it was a real dating service?

May 19, 2008

The Paperless Toilet

What would we do without email humor? If there is one positive thing about email, it's the way it can distributed gags, such as the one below with a funny caption - click the image to see the animation:

Paperlesstoilet











"One satisfied customer said she sat down, and was so delighted she didn't know whether she was coming or going."
   

May 06, 2008

A Cucumber, Pickle & A Penis

One day a cucumber, a pickle and a penis were having a conversation:

The pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks.Whenever I get fat and juicy, they sprinkle seasonings over and they stick me in a jar."

The cucumber says, "Yeah you think that's bad? Whenever I get big fat and juicy, they slice me up and they put me over salad."

The penis says, "You think that your lives are tough? Well, whenever I get big, fat and juicy, they throw a plastic bag over my head, shove me in a wet dark, smelly room and force me to do push-ups until I throw up and lose consciousness!"

   

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© Anastasia Mavromatis 2005 - 2008