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September 15, 2008

Dita Von Teese, Sleeping Beauty and Pornsaints @ Lucrezia Magazine

Monday, spring, sun and an update.

Read new erotic fiction, Sleeping Beauty by Sheta Storm
Read about Dita Von Teese's limited edition lingerie range (and view pretty pictures) and new film.
If you're in London, check out The Pornsaints art exhibition.

Smile: It's Monday

Monday doesn't have to be a crappy beginning, so I used to say to myself, but with an array of funny kitties, it seems like a possibility.
Today's funny pic had me in stitches:

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September 14, 2008

Obama's New Strategy

Politics, all on its own, tends to be dreary or monotonous at times but if you add gender and politics, it becomes more exciting, as Sarah Palin's entry has indicated. You'll come across many articles, such as this one in today's Sydney Morning Herald.

"Their reasoning was clear: deprive Palin of the spotlight and make a new attempt to twin McCain with unpopular Republican President Bush.

Ironically, Bush's political guru Karl Rove warned in a Wall Street Journal article on Thursday that attacking Palin was bad politics for Obama."

It makes me ask myself: should I read all that hoopla or focus on the obvious?

To me, it's about as obvious as pronounced Spandex camel toe.

One of the significant mistakes Barack Obama made is not selecting Hillary Clinton as his vice presidential candidate, and I believe (although my opinion doesn't matter, doesn't really count as an Aussie person living in the 'boonies' according to some) this will affect the overall dynamic. Some can interpret his move as traditional: opting for a male (and 'unknown' - compared to Hillary) running mate. He's already sidestepping Palin, and focusing on McCain. What does this mean? It can be interpreted in two ways: he's being chivalrous or he's afraid. All in all, it makes for interesting observation. Political campaigns, the way they're staged, every statement, speech and activity, are like fancy or sophisticated zoo displays. At least in a zoo, you'll have straightforward primate behavior. The human zoo is quite different or more complex, depending on which way you look at it. I'm not an alien believer, but on a hypoethetical level: What would an alien think if they could watch Earth like a reality television show? ("some male humans are incapable of accepting female political candidates?" or "they're so traditional in their selection based on gender, they're predictably boring and I'm writing to the network to complain?") In some ways, it's better than a reality show: political candidates dress better, make complex arguments and create more spin than a pro figure skater. You can't get that in ordinary reality television.

September 13, 2008

Complete Silliness

Another confession for this blog:

I love watching spoofs. I crack up at films like Naked Gun (I love Leslie Nielsen) and I've watched all the Scary Movie films. Last night I rented The Superhero Movie (I also rented There Will Be Blood, but I wouldn't advise that unless you're a Daniel Day Lewis fan because it's a really slow film).

Anyway, there was a Tom Cruise Scientology spoof within the film, and perhaps it's the only clip that can be posted on YouTube, but if you haven't caught the original Scientology film with Tom Cruise (due to its removal from YouTube), this clip below - from The Superhero Movie- will give you a rough idea about the original. ( "I can eat planets." RFLMAO)

It's not about the hereafter but the present

I came across an article titled "Perhaps Death is Proud; More Reason to Savor Life", that I thought I'd mention here because it is poignant and offers an answer about getting through death. It may 'read' simple (the quoted paragraph) but it's the only thing that remains that makes sense after witnessing or experiencing death – and both experiences are different. Death, from a distance (hearing of a death, etc), is quite different from watching it unfold before you. It doesn't matter how much religious instruction you have in your life; watching death unfold in front of your eyes will – without a doubt – upend every teaching that one has been exposed to in one's formative years. At the end of it all, one only has the practicalities of everyday life to get them through. A lot like the below quote:

"What can one do? Go home, love your children, try not to bicker, eat well, walk in the rain, feel the sun on your face and laugh loud and often, as much as possible, and especially at yourself. Because the only antidote to death is not poetry, or drama, or miracle drugs, or a roomful of technical expertise and good intentions. The antidote to death is life."

The above paragraph is the closing paragraph, but go read the full article on the NY Times, and if you can't access it, register (for free) as a member, because it is a wonderful article/account of a woman's life as a nurse after a brief career as an English professor.

Sex, Research Studies & Reproduction

Do we live in the age of paranoia? Is paranoia fueled by studies and surveys? This was today's thought after reading an article about a Swiss study linking bi-polar disorder with older parents. It's the kind of thing that will probably influence partner choice for a small proportion of people, but is the Swiss study factoring everything? Are scientists absolutely certain that bi-polar has a genetic origin? Can it have something to do with maternal nutrition during pregnancy, or neonatal nutrition and so on? Human beings have to endure so many external variables from the moment they enter the world.

Another doctor (from New York) added her view toward the end of the NY Times article:

“The vast majority of children of any fathers will not get bipolar illness. At the level of the whole population, it may be important, but for the individual father it’s a small risk.”

Thus, if the vast majority won't get bipolar disorder, does that mean that the study is incomplete in some way?

Society may have come so far since the Industrial Revolution; science has gone from strength to strength, but it seems that humans still can't find the answer to many questions relating to physical and mental health. So what is to be done with such studies? Do people take them seriously, with a grain of salt, or include such information in their repositories, even if the information has a high chance of being irrelevant to them? How influential are these surveys where relationships and parenting are concerned?

The Poor Man's Howard Stern: Kyle Sandilands

Kylesandilands_narrowweb__300x3940 Kyle Sandilands is considered, by some idiots here in Australia (like a portion of the management at the Austereo Network, sorry dudes, but what else can be said about Kyle?), to be a ‘shock jock’ but most of the time he comes off as an arrogant twat, because he is an arrogant twat. He is also a judge on Australian Idol, has no real idea about music and happens to offer superficial opinions toward people who have real talent. He can’t sing, but he has been known to make comments about contestant wardrobes (and weight) on Australian Idol, focusing more on putting down females (even though he's visibly overweight himself), but his most recent faux pas occurred when he couldn’t handle the heat on radio when indigenous Australian/television host Ernie Dingo gave him a serve after hearing a distasteful radio introduction.

I think Dingo encapsulated everything perfectly:

"Your game is to sensationalise things and you're just basically a commercial wanker."

What is incredible about Australian radio is the the number of jocks that have no real qualifications. Most are early school leavers that simply have a gift of the gab, 'velvet' voices (John Laws) or thrive on controversy, and that is all they do. They aren't capable of giving a balanced view on anything, most are one sided, and it's amazing to think that they are paid incredible amounts to be on radio. Many of these hosts say the most horrible things about people they don't interact with, just to be controversial. John Laws, for example, started going on about Carson Kressley. For nothing. I doubt that Carson even knew who John Laws was, but John Laws decided to call him a 'pillow biter' on live air, and he was made to apologize after gay and lesbian groups got on his case.

One of the positive things about podcasting is that podcasts give people a choice, and I think podcasts will be a definite threat for most radio networks within the next few years, especially if they continue to hire obnoxious radio jocks. Advertisers aren't going to be interested in shitty commercial radio shows with idiotic radio announcers like Kyle Sandilands.

The Austereo Network has become wankier over the years, with nasty breakfast radio hosts on 2Day FM, and really, who listens for the music anymore? There are far too many adverts, and one would think that advertisers would invest their money on other radio shows, television shows, online media and print media rather than invest in the Kyle and Jackie O morning show. They're both below par, as they proved to be when they hosted Big Brother 2008.

Kyle, like others, tries to ape US radio jock, Howard Stern, it's quite obvious, but he doesn't have the charisma.

S & M Meets Presidential Election

Alba Sex is used for everything these days, or used to advertise or call attention to many causes, but are people getting tired of it? Are people going to get tired of it or end up desensitized to it all?

The Declare Yourself campaign features Jessica Alba on the entry page, and focuses on encouraging people to vote. Shouldn't voting be mandatory when people turn eighteen or the designated legal age within a country? Here where I live, once you turn eighteen you have to register. It isn't an option. If people don't register then someone from the electoral commission comes a-calling with registration papers. And it makes sense because if people consider themselves citizens, then they have to be registered to vote. You can't call a country a democracy if most of its citizens can't be bothered voting; it's a contradiction to whine about a government and go on and on, and not be registered to vote because they don't feel like registering or don't see any point in it. Can one consider oneself a citizen if one doesn't vote?

Check out the full gallery of images here, but if you've just had breakfast or have a sensitive stomach, bypass some of them because they're not tame. Overall, it's an eye catching online campaign.

Customer Service McDonalds Style: Burger Joint Etiquette?

I have no idea who teaches the kiddies at Maccas customer service skills, but it really raises the question of 'which moron is behind it all?' These poor kids are taught to abandon common sense early on, which is why I would never allow my son to work at McDonalds, and in so doing, they inadvertently irritate customers anyway, which defeats the point of customer service to begin with.

In Melbourne, a manager was beaten by a customer with a broom because he wasn't happy with his burger. There aren't more details on this story, other than the customer being unhappy, for an argument to erupt and the manager to cop it with a broom. There are many instances when ordering food can be a pain in the ass in these places. For example, you order a meal combo (with a standard burger, fries and drink) to see the operator losing their concentration midway. How hard is it to remember 'Medium Big Mac Meal?' Then there is the other annoying thing that these corporations force: the 'upsize' request, or the up-sell. Would you like an apple pie with that? Do you want to upsize your order? And you think (or I think), 'for fuck's sake, I just ordered my food and if I wanted a jumbo meal, I'd order it. Do you think I'm stupid or something?' Well that's what I think each time I'm asked if I want to up-size something. And I have to keep in mind that it's not the kids' fault, they're told to do this by corporate twats.

I've never upsized a meal in my life. No one has been able to convince me to do that. It's not because I'm a stingy bitch or anything, but if I'm not that hungry,then what's the point? Why should I give McDonald's an extra fifty or eighty cents? And that's what they want. They're greedy, like 99.9% of every corporation out there, and that's understandable, they have huge ad campaigns, staff and have had a global store renovation program, and they do also support charitable organisations, which is a good thing, but I don't know if their 'teachings' are great for teenagers working there.

I feel for the beaten manager, but I can also see the customer's side as well.

A few years ago, I broke my little toe. I didn't realize it the day I did it. I raced for the phone, slammed my foot against the corner of the sofa, leapt like a monkey for a few minutes, swore like a sailor, and put it down to shit luck, thinking that I'd be all right in a few hours. That wasn't to be. The next morning, after spending fifteen minutes hobbling to the medical centre (that is less than two minutes away from me), I made my way to the X-Ray centre via bus (the next suburb to me), and after the X-Ray was taken, I had to wait an hour. I also wanted a coffee, not having one first thing in the morning, so my next stop was the pharmacy (for pain killers - at this point I was in agony), and then I spent (no joke) twenty minutes limping toward Marrickville McDonalds (which has since closed down - not enough business I guess) for a coffee at an outside table. It took me five minutes to get to the counter, I ordered, and it took me another five minutes to reach the outside table. I parked my butt, opened the box of Panadol, swallowed two capsules without liquid (the coffee was too hot).

Well wouldn't you know? Some smart twat took a rubbish bin from the store and put it outside. I had a manager nag me about my cigarette. Now, I'm the only customer right? I'm sitting outside, right?

"It's not allowed," he said, pointing toward the 'no smoking' sticker on the bin. I told him that the bin was relocated from the store, emphasizing that I was sitting outside (like, 'hello!?'). Well, then he went on about the local council 'not permitting it' and I thought (inside myself) 'fuck you,' because every other outdoor cafe in the area was fine with outdoor smoking, so it wasn't the council.
"You'll have to put it out," he said, and I wanted to laugh. I was angry, but saw the humor of it all. There is an eighteen year old telling me that I'd have to put it out.
"Excuse me?" I asked, in partial disbelief.
"You'll have to put the cigarette out," he said. I thought many things. I thought about how these little shits in the store saw me hobbling in agony, and how ignorant and stupid some of them were, further asking myself if the company made them more stupid or eradicated all common sense. I glanced upward, and met his eyes (he was a little nervous, because I didn't obey like a Pavlov dog).
"How about you make me?" I asked.
"Beg your pardon?" he asked, quite unaccustomed to the question.
"Make me put it out. GO ON, MAKE ME!"
"B-but..."
"But nothing," I began, "you'll physically have to make me and if you touch me, then you'll have a case to answer."
At this point, I'd call it delayed anger, but I did enter the dark place and I was holding a hot cup of coffee. If you factor in the painful broken little toe, my cramping calf muscle (on the same leg) and the fact that the pain killers were yet to kick in, then we have a volatile situation. He was lucky he walked away without pressing the issue because -to this day - I wouldn't know what I would have done if he pressed the issue. That was a few years ago. I don't -as a rule- visit cafes that have no smoking policies outdoors. But back then, there were no such rules, just prejudice. But even so, prejudice still exists and no, I don't care about what anti-smokers think because at the end of the day cigarettes are legal and smokers do have democratic rights as well and don't deserve to be treated like a subhuman species when they pay considerable revenue that governments use to their advantage. At the end of the day it is my addiction, not 'theirs'. I don't buy faux altruism. It's all about social control to me each time a smoking Nazi starts the gesticulations. One time, I butted out in a bin near a bus stop, copped a hairy eyeball from an old woman, but the teenage girl who dumped her McDonald's wrappers on the ground (littered) before she entered the bus didn't cop a lecture. I call that hypocrisy.

We don't have a law against outdoor smoking at most coffee shops with outdoor areas, but many coffee shops (especially in the city) think that they can overcome it by not providing ashtrays, and then they complain if you butt out on the ground. If you ask the waiter/waitress for an ashtray their face undergoes various shades of discontent, but I ask them anyway. Maybe to annoy them. Maybe to make them realize that my patronage pays their weekly wages. And that's what it's about at the end of the day, not pushing a customer's goodwill. How much does it cost McDonald's to produce a burger wholesale? Not a lot. Would it have killed the Melbourne McDonald's manager to just take what the customer said, or replace the burger? Not really, but in certain circumstances, being obstinate or rigid, can (ironically) get a person killed or maimed, or in the call centre service world, verbally abused, but corporations don't care about what their employees endure as long as they make an extra buck. Isn't that so? I believe that to be the case each and every time.

Would you enter McDonalds for a burger if you had to pass a security guard? I wouldn't. But it looks like this will be a development at this Melbourne McDonalds. If the customer complains about a burger, give him a new burger. I mean, they dump their burgers after a certain time interval anyway (due to health regulations) and replenish burgers.

I actually don't like the customer service of these burger joints, and no, I don't care if the 'burgers are better at Burger King,' that's another store I can write tombs about. What the hell is it with the way they round off prices and their 'waving' counter staff? Yeah, I can see you, you don't have to wave at me, and how about you give me a fucking chance to look at the menu before I order before asking me if you can help me (I'm not an imbecile).





September 12, 2008

Pammy on Sarah Palin: "She Can Suck It" or When Celebrities Should Shut Up

How celebrities sabotage election candidates? They open their mouth and express trite views, but it’s their image that works against them. Do celebrities actually stop to think that they make it worse by entering political debates, or, like Pam Anderson, saying silly things that are just childish?

“I can‘t stand her(Sarah Palin), she can suck it!”

What the hell is that?

If you head back to the last election, and Michael Moore’s documentary on George W Bush, that entire film can be considered reverse publicity. So the question: can celebrities change the course of elections (in a negative way, by swinging votes)? I think so.

Does anyone take Pamela Anderson Lee seriously? I doubt it. My son doesn’t take her seriously every time he sees her on the news (her last Australian trip, and her cameo on Big Brother, tossing her hair every minute). The five hundred - and counting - comments after this news article also indicate the same thing - few take Pamela and Matt seriously.

Here are some comments:

" Who would listen to Pam or Matt? Since when did hollywood even deserve to tell the public what to say? What are their credentials? Oh, they can take on personas and make money - now that takes talent. I wish hollywood would get out of itself. Narcissism is like pride."


" Who cares what Pam A. or Matt D. think. Remember..they are actors which means they spend most of their time earning their living faking it."

Then there's this comment that had me laughing, only because it reminded me of the blowjob Pam gave Tommy Lee in 'that video.'

"You know...Pamela Anderson is such a low-life loser. Here's an opinion coming from a sleazy whore who strips and poses nude.....yeah GREAT family values girl. She gets violent and down right WACKO with anyone who hunts or even eats a burger or chicken sandwich...(which by the way sounds real good right now.) lol. All of these left-wing socialists need to move to China or Russia where they belong. And besides, she wouldn't be where she is today if she didn't have the 8 or so breast enlargements because of her insecurities and stupid shallow men following her every move. She's already showing her age. Maybe SHE needs to go "suck it". Obviously that is how she solves all of her issues with men and the world for that matter. The more these low-life losers open their mouths (no pun) the more people that are swinging (again no pun) their vote to the Republicans."

And this comment from a woman, and a poignant comment at that:

"Pam Anderson, a real top of the line role model for women. She's got absolutely nothing to offer but boobs."

And a comment that hits the nail on the head (where celebrity political opinions are concerned):

"These folks need to remember they make their money living imaginary lives. They are entertainment. They are not looked up to for their scholarly advice.If they think they are then they have more imagination than I give them credit for."

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