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The Cozy Spot

3 posts categorized "sex advice"

September 03, 2008

Sex is more than the physical

Is sex all that it is cracked up to be? That's the first question that entered my head after reading the latest headlines. It's quite obvious that abstinence education isn't slowing –not the teenage pregnancy rate, but the rate of teenagers having sex, possibly before they're ready. Are they doing it for the sake of doing it, doing it for love or doing it to fit in or maybe doing it as an escape, no one will ever know, but if current sexually explicit trends and abstinence programs aren't reducing sexual activity among teenagers, then what?

Also, is teenage pregnancy a huge deal? If a government established programs that enable teenagers to cope as young parents, programs that enable them to continue their educations or work options (via apprenticeships or traineeships), how bad could teenage pregnancy be?

Society is strange. The binaries are obvious; a girl is pregnant and she is stigmatized for having sex (to be pregnant – pregnancy as an obvious confirmation of her sexual activity) and viewing pregnancy as an 'undesirable' condition tends to blur the other factor within the biological equation – the fetus or baby. I've seen teenagers (accompanied by parents) at abortion clinics and the teenagers don't look happy to be there, they're terrified. And fine, there is a choice or girls/women have a choice, but let's face it, it's more like an executive decision. Individuals vary; abortion isn't necessarily a decision that curbs future 'mistakes'. There are women out there that view abortion as an easy solution, some women have multiple abortions, and sure that is their choice, but the spotlight is on abortion, not the reasons multiple abortions occur. I've had one abortion, and I wouldn't class it as a happy experience. More like a soul drain. I remember the day vividly, and I remember the post op period; I said to myself that if I had to make that choice again, I'd rather not have sex, which is why the view of 'abortions' being fine and dandy (because most feminists view them as straight medical procedures, like having a vaccination) pisses me off a lot. Let's not forget that many of the most militant feminists, or the most 'loud', tend to be childless so they wouldn't have a clue about abortion (as an experience) or parenthood.

What if abstinence was revamped?

Continue reading "Sex is more than the physical" »

June 13, 2008

The Catholic Church on French Kissing

World Youth Day 2008 is to be hosted in Sydney, and I've made it my mission to stay away from the religious throngs in the city and Randwick. The outlay to host this event is staggering, considering our train system is a shambles and our hospitals are suffering, with extended waiting lists for consultations and treatments.

Anyway, to prepare for World Youth Day, a web site has been set up. It's a Catholic social networking site, and yeah, why not? Everyone is developing social networking sites. They're a social innovation (?).

The thing that made me laugh, probably because I thought it absurd, is the following Q and A, taken from a media website. The issue? French kissing, and the church's stance on the practice of French kissing before marriage:

Lorna Corcoran
wrote at 11:43am on May 1st 2008

Ok this is a question that has bothered me for a good while and I have seen it asked and debated about on the former xt3 and never really got a successful answer.
Is French Kissing before Marriage sinful?

Father John Flynn
wrote at 5:07pm on May 1st 2008 in reply to Lorna Corcoran Dear Lorna,

In a nutshell the answer is that French kissing is highly unadvisable and could well, depending on the circumstances, be sinful.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church deals with the subject in a general way when it examines the virtue of purity.

2522 Purity requires modesty, an integral part of temperance. Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden. It is ordered to chastity to whose sensitivity it bears witness. It guides how one looks at others and behaves toward them in conformity with the dignity of persons and their solidarity.

2522 Modesty protects the mystery of persons and their love. It encourages patience and moderation in loving relationships; it requires that the conditions for the definitive giving and commitment of man and woman to one another be fulfilled. Modesty is decency. It inspires one's choice of clothing. It keeps silence or reserve where there is evident risk of unhealthy curiosity. It is discreet.

In applying this to your specific question I think that the explanation of the dangers involved in French kissing on the Web page of the Pure Love Club shows the dangers of such intimacy and the problems it can lead to.

Father John Flynn 'applied' the catechism to French kissing - like the catechism is a science?

Wonders never cease. World Youth Indoctrination Day! I can't wait.

September 28, 2007

How do you have a Quickie?

There was a scene in this week’s Californication, the ‘LOL’ episode (Australian viewing: episode five) that had me kack myself laughing. It was the scene where Hank’s agent’s wife’s horniness sky rockets; she wants sex, wants it now, and she tells her husband that he can have her ass. She wants to feel him. She wants closeness. Sex. Fucking. She flops down onto the sofa, tells him that he can do anything. They begin kissing, and her hand comes alive, trekking to his rear region…he jumps. What the hell? Is that a finger heading into my ass, he thinks? ("it's life Jim, but not as we know it.") Then he tells her that he’d appreciate some forewarning. I laughed so hard, only because the previous show had him wanking over his Suicide girl secretary, which moved onto Secretary style spanking and power exchange. He jumps up at the sensation of a finger in his ass?

But it can happen…

Hank’s advice, ‘Never stick a finger in a man’s ass without warning.’

The unanticipated jolting surprise. Just when you don’t expect it, out it comes. Kind of reminds me of my first experience with anal; the guy ploughed through, and I bumped my head on the bed head. What the fuck? It doesn’t matter how big a man’s dick is, an unexpected journey into the anus is a surprise; an obelisk entering a tight hole, or the sensation of such. It’s the type of passage that is. It’s structured to evacuate, not imbibe, by its muscular and epithelial structure. Advance warning is a must. Putting it plainly: I'm Greek and I can find it squeamish, when no advance warning is given.

I’ve found that the best advice is forthright, in your face advice. Not the molly coddling crap, or the sexual carte blanche type of theorization that exists. Sex advice requires an experiential background, more so than an academic or ‘writing’ background, which is why all the fictional advice questions offer a lot of entertainment.

It’s not limited to the Internet, it extends to print media as well. An advisor is only an advisor. A reader will never know if they’ve practiced the things they’ve advised.

I’ll never forget my first swallowing experience. The guy I was dating had read somewhere that if he drank pineapple juice, that it would enhance his seminal flavor. I found it a laugh, but thought ‘hey, it’s not like the advice will end western civilization, or lead to a global Taliban invasion,’ so when he said he was going to try it, I thought nothing of it. Better you than me, I thought. I’m not fond of pineapple juice. The things that some blokes are told to do (and women, for that matter).

He drank it for a whole week. We were living two states apart. I’d travel to meet him during work, and yeah, I’ll just say that he didn’t taste like pineapple juice. It was quite the opposite or the usual flavor. It was lucky he didn't have to walk over hot coals to alter his seminal flavor! The poor guy, he said he didn't want to even look at a pineapple, let alone drink juice for the remainder of his life.

Some things, regardless of all the advice, are an acquired taste.

For more whacky advice questions, head here.

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