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The Cozy Spot

14 posts categorized "Weblogs"

August 26, 2007

On Blogging...

Sex positive, the term that may as well be the R rated equivalent of Political Correctness, is popular among the sexual web. It’s a type of carte blanche term; pedophilia, extreme violence and snuff may be illegal, or impermissible, but everything else is right to go, which is how I interpret ‘sex positive’ most days.

In situations that display adults, where apparent consent is given, then it’s swept under the SP carpet, and it’s all fine, and if you write about any sexual activity, or include sexuality as your theme, then it’s assumed that you’ll be a yes-person, and nod each time some virtual entrepreneur approaches you to flog their website.

I really have no idea why a bunch of online daters or online escorts would be interested in my site (as I don't advertise anything related to these areas), but this is what I’m told by those who try to convince me to add my link on their dating/escort sites; those two areas aren’t my favorite areas, and I have no desire to interchange links that feature these elements on their websites. It becomes a frustrating thing when the approach is ongoing, or done at regular intervals, when the answer will always be a no. This webpage,, is largely a hobby, and I’m not that desperate for traffic (it's not like I earn my livelihood from it), but it appears that the small-time virtual entrepreneur is that desperate, for they do not scan the content of my pages, to realize that I don't promote escort services or online dating.

Continue reading "On Blogging..." »

May 13, 2007

Chinese Whispers

When I sat down and wrote a post titled ‘Whores, Politicians and the Urban Myth of Feminism,’ in March I didn’t think it would end up being linked in three places, one of which is an article that has been doing the rounds, written by Cathy Young for Reason Magazine. I really love it when clever essayists downplay a person's situation, as I feel has occured in this case. Sure, I did thank her for including my blog post (weren't there any North American bloggers who wrote about their experience on the other end of prostitution?), but the follow up sentence after the link to my post remained in my mind all this week:

"It is sometimes claimed that the true victims of prostitution are the johns' wives. But surely women whose husbands are involved in noncommercial—and sometimes quite expensive—extramarital affairs are no less victimized."

I’d like to take the opportunity to say that I didn’t use the word ‘victim’ within the post, but the strange world of blogging can also be one of Chinese Whispers, where people interpret things the way they desire to interpret them. I wouldn’t call leaving a relationship a victim-like behavior, and yet there were some who linked to my post (prior to Cathy Young’s article) who insinuated this.

Like Young (in her concluding paragraph), I tend to agree with the following:

“selling sex should ever be seen as an empowering or liberating way of life, or an affirmation of female sexuality.”

Continue reading "Chinese Whispers" »

April 22, 2007

On Goals...

I sometimes view Memes as traffic vehicles, and this is why I always feel a compulsion to shy away from them but I tend to participate, because Memes also promote a sense of community, plus I do find it difficult to say no when a person selects me as a participant because they don't know me from a bar of soap, and they take that chance, or step out of that comfort zone. Goals are a part of life. Sometimes I prefer to call them incentives rather than goals, because they can be shaped, altered or cut short by circumstances beyond one's control and I have to admit I haven't paid close attention to my goals for the last decade, so thought I'd explore this Meme further, so it's a longer trek of a post and one can jump to the very end of this post for the list of goals.

I was tagged by Mirage Chopper, a former Marine who writes poetry in his blog Expressions of Colour. The Meme originated at Alex Shalman's blog Practical Personal Development.

I've taken a longer path to list my goals. I spent my Sunday morning reflecting on the wider scheme of things, and also realized that I'm to pass (in a day or two) the two year mark, writing in this blog.


I haven’t been one to list my goals - for years. The goals I had as a teenager were very simple, and mainly hovered around finishing school, and remaining sane. They were my two main goals, and seemed to be the most logical goals to have at a time when I still couldn’t adapt to being a foster child, followed by the domestic instability that collided with my school days. I did have another in-between goal, but I look at it with embarrassment most times, because I had extreme difficulty in realizing it, and circumstances inhibited it. When circumstances push a person to utilize whatever is at hand to get past the next day, or survive, the plush or ambitious goals fall through the cracks. As much as I’d like to deny it, my then in-between goal, reveals more about me than any other goal.

Continue reading "On Goals..." »

April 14, 2007

Thinking Blogger...

Over the past weeks I noticed a new 'award' - The Thinking Blogger Award -that cropped up in the Blogosphere, and like a meme, it does involve tagging people. I think the difficulty with tag memes, is that it can make things difficult if a limit is set. In a way, I was dreading the Thinking Blogger meme because I currently display links to more than 100 web sites (that I've classified as Erotic and Eclectic - to diferentiate the adult from the general reading blogs) and I think they all (including other blogs out there) deserve awards because it does take a lot to maintain a blog on a daily basis.

Each blog, regardless of content, inspires thought and it doesn't have to be hardcore, introspective thought.

Without further ado, I'd like to give thanks to Leonore S who tagged me, and described me as "fearless, intelligent, and for me as a writer and reader, she is just mind candy."

Here are five blogs that do make me think:

Figleaf: Figleaf's Real Adult Sex is twofold. He shows his readers other posts in the blogosphere that he's found thought provoking, and offers his own take on the sexual discussions that take place on a daily basis. His page isn't purely about sexual pleasure. 'Real Adult Sex' is what it says it is. Real issues (social, political, etc).

Chronically Sick But Still Thinking: This blog is written by Sebastien, and it's a pleasure to read; he doesn't use his blog as his own pity zone, and always provides interesting insights into his daily life,as well as his artistic work. He's a fantastic illustrator, bilingual and appreciates fine literature. In here you'll find many things that remind you of the daily things, that are sometimes considered 'small', and of their importance to well-being.

Everything is Pointless: Louie is formidable, and his posts are well thought out and include a wide variety of quoted sources. There are days where I think I can feel my brain throb. This blog is about all 'thought', from existentialism to science. He covers many subjects, but if you want the sex you can click here and be mesmerized by his discussions.

Alexsuze: They'll kill me, but I think them the premier couple of the sex blogosphere because their mutual explorations, as well as their articles and reviews, provide variety for a reader. If blogs were like sex, then this blog would be sex, as there is plenty of variety (articles, reviews to fiction) to keep a reader satisfied and come back for more.

Nothing to Dread: This blog is not purely devoted to nudism, but it does provide interesting articles about this lifestyle, and many other resources for readers who are intrigued by nudism. Dreadfree writes about many things, and does push the envelope of thought. Sex is usually threaded to nudity, and unfortunately nudity can be 100% associated with sex or sexual intercourse (ie porn), and this isn't always the case. Nudity doesn't have to be the necessary cause or prelude for sex to occur.

So the above five blogs (symbolically)receive this nifty little button from moi:


Now for the Mission Impossible 'speak': should you wish to participate:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote. You have an option of gold or silver buttons. Consult the original Thinking Blogger site for details.

All right...

That's enough Saturday blogging for me.

March 31, 2007

Online Misogyny or Trumped up Charges?

It's dangerous to label something, or attach a generalisation. One generalisation in particular is the one that appears in Salon magazine by Joan Walsh titled 'Men who Hate Women on the Web', that focuses on the most recent blog fiasco concerning Kathy Sierra and all the alleged hateful comments she recieved on her blog.

The prime issue that worries me about this fuss is the way these matters are dealt with. Is it possible, in the near future, that blogs are completely monitored (that's if they're not monitored by government agencies around the globe). Imagine having such a job? As tedious as it may appear, it may be a possibility in future, due to a rising group of women crying over online crap that is most likely generated by virtual invertebrate (my definition of a spineless person who rarely behaves in the same nasty manner in the three dimension world), who feel somewhat empowered by leaving the occasional anonymous comment.

Continue reading "Online Misogyny or Trumped up Charges?" »

March 29, 2007

Springs, Sex & Scenes

I retrieved my x-ray today, and stood at the bus stop waiting, for what seemed like forever. Bugger it, I thought, and ripped open the envelope. I wanted to jump up for joy, everything was clear, which meant no nasties in my chest, but it didn’t explain the soreness in my left side. The doctor, on my return, asked me if I’d injured myself lately. Hardly likely, I thought, and she told me to take painkillers until it subsided. Housemate expressed his own conclusions:

‘Your bloody bed is old, and the springs dig into your chest as you sleep. Get rid of it!’

As for my blood pressure, I almost keeled over. I asked my GP for tips on elevating it back to what it used to be, what felt like eons ago, and she advised me to do ‘what people with high blood pressure aren’t allowed to do.’

- add salt to my food and ncorporate more physical exercise into my life (something that I haven’t been doing because gyms are just over the top, and I’m a crap jogger)

Now sex would be good exercise, but not in my bed. I’d have to take out public liability insurance if I wanted to invite anyone in my bed. It, according to housemate, is ‘dangerous, and it’s amazing you haven’t been stabbed in the chest by those fucking springs!’ He exaggerates. It’s not like they’ll spring forth, and kill me.


Speaking of sex, and futures, the concept of futuristic sex is an interesting one considering the current attitudes that are circulating about, the various extremes. From one end there’s abstinence, which is like stepping into another era, possibly reverting to the Fifties, and then there are the libertine elements that appear on various websites and blogs, all of which express flagrant sexuality, the polar opposite of the current Abstinence Movement. The question though: How will sexual attitudes be shaped? What kind of sexual approaches will humans make twenty years from now? Will sex be more relaxed or more controlled?

Alex from AlexSuze story The Assessor on Scenes explores the future and also introduces an interesting term in his fictional story: chemical normalisation. Check it out.

If you want to explore the erotic, and post stories in Scenes, email me.

March 26, 2007

From Panadol to Pornography, and Beyond...

I sat my arse down to watch the DVD’s that arrived in the post, just so I could get them out of the way, mail them back, and prepare for the next lot of rentals (hopefully I’ll receive the remaining episodes from the Hunger - series two, or the next installments of Masters of Horror; it’s a lucky dip, they send whatever’s available in my rather large DVD selection).

We returned to normalcy today, daylight saving is over and I feel as though the day has lengthened; time to organize my writing, I thought. But first, I had a nice macabre trip watching Fairuza Balk in Pick Me Up. It’s about a cat and mouse game between two serial killers; Fairuza happens to have the misfortune of bumping into both of them. The day progressed; I felt the symptoms of a cold creeping up on me. My head throbbed, I popped a couple of Panadol, and cursed this dipshit at my work who decided to come in while sick for two days simply because he has no life to speak of. ‘I get bored at home!’ Hello, you’re contagious, you idiot.

It annoys me because I took extra time off in January due to personal family events, and I took more days a little while back because I felt under the weather, only to have my GP rave on about my cholesterol test (not skyrocketing, but something to watch), low blood pressure, need for iron supplements, and yes, ‘you really need to stop smoking.’ What else is left? What I really need is a new job, and maybe, just maybe get my arse around to finishing the novel, yes the novel. Like the first two weren’t enough to do my head in, I’ve decided on a third novel, but I’m up to 12,000 words, and although I’m not blocked, I do reach certain points where I ask myself whether anyone would be interested in reading the particular story I have in mind.

Why can’t I be content with status quo, wake up and really smile just before I walk into the building?

Continue reading "From Panadol to Pornography, and Beyond..." »

March 24, 2007

The Other Side/ Η Άλλη Όψη

In ending the week that was, a week that had me writing in bursts during snatched work moments and posting at lunch most days, I took a detour and ended up at the lake of introspection. I came upon a post that spun me for a six. It had nothing to do with sex, more to do with the way thing can sometimes be.

The post, Η Άλλη Όψη- in Paradise Lost, roughly translated, illustrated a situation that forced the blogger into a corner. They were caught viewing their blog page by their female relative and they said that the page belonged to a friend. The relative asked to read the page, and as she read the page she became enamored with the beauty of the blogger’s writing but the blogger was somewhat shocked. She didn’t draw any parallels or conclude that the person before her was the blogger, her relative, and he realizes that it’s due to the different sides that are revealed during the writing process; she is accustomed to seeing a happy go lucky person, whereas the few posts she read displayed an introspective person or the total opposite of what she’s accustomed to seeing.

Do we display a different side for each situation without realizing, or do we consciously do it as a survival mechanism? Moreover, is it something that people do in order to optimize survival? It’s an interesting concept or reality; it happens each day. At work, one face is seen, the professional countenance one meets and greets, or displays to others. When we return home, or venture to the pub for that drink, another side is revealed, and when we enter relationships, or date, yet another side is revealed. So many different facets; humans are like elaborate cut gems. Fire and ice, forming individual brilliance or dullness, depending on one’s attitude and/or self esteem.

Continue reading "The Other Side/ Η Άλλη Όψη" »

March 17, 2007


It didn’t take long for him to ask, let alone make the move; the dimmed pub, and its veteran patrons continued shooting pool while they shot the daily shit.

“Don’t you like the sound of balls cracking?” I said.

“What?” he leaned over, continued cradling his beer, “Thought I heard incorrectly…”

His lips slowly opened, revealing teeth that could be paid a separate income.

And now, in an improved flavor…

This thought coincided with another, that of his tongue taking a swipe at mine, and the little train that possibly could, derailed a few moments after nine, after our fourth round of beers. The question of his taste lingered on my fervid taste buds.

“I wanna to be your bitch,” he said, ringing the glass rim with his index finger. It brought to mind Iggy Pop, ‘ah-ah wannaaaaaaa be your dawg!’ and the six foot something dear next to me didn’t resemble Iggy with his shiny black locks, and clear olive complexion.

Continue reading "Bitch" »

March 08, 2007


It was during my online travels that I came across Paradise Lost and thought, 'Wow, how creamy is this!' and it's exciting for me, because it's rare to come across an erotic blog that's written in a language other than English. The full title of this Greek blog is, "Paradise Lost - Bite the Apple" and whoa what a bit. It's a plus for me. Although it's been many years since I've written anything in Greek, I can still read it and there are differences between the two. A person doesn't have to use so many words in Greek to get a point, or emotion, across to a reader and the erotic elements don't have to be crass, or in one's face to have an erotic effect. If I could list one regret in my life, it's not taking the time to move forth with the language. I speak it, but my vocabulary isn't strong enough for story compositions, or any type of Greek composition and I think that's the small price every migrant pays over the years, regardless of all the hours spent in Greek school. Anyway, this post generally goes out to those (Greeks) away from Greece, who haven't yet come across Paradise Lost.

The piece below is titled, "Θεε μου, τι ομορφη που εισαι…" (My God, how beautiful you are -  in that word order). I've added my own English translation below the original text but I wanted to add the original text together with my 'sorta' translation.

"Ειναι και εκεινα τα θλιμμενα σου ματια που δε μπορω να τους αντισταθω. Με μαγνητιζουν καθε φορα που τα κοιταζω, και πως φωτιζονται οταν χαμογελας… Θεε μου, ποσο ομορφη εισαι οταν χαμογελας… Αραγε να το ξερεις; Θα θελα να μπορουσα να σε κανω να δεις τον εαυτο σου μεσα απο τα δικα μου ματια. Τι θα ελεγες τοτε; Πως θα αντιδρουσες μπροστα σε τοση ομορφια;

Θα ‘θελα να σου κανω ερωτα κοιταζοντας σε στα ματια. Τωρα αυτη τη στιγμη που σου μιλαω, θελω να σου κανω ερωτα. Θα ‘θελα να σου ψιθυρισω ολα εκεινα που δεν ακους, ή που κανεις πως δεν ακους, να σου μιλησω χωρις λογια, με ανασες στο λαιμο σου, με μια σταλα ιδρωτα απο το προσωπο μου, που θα σταξει στο στηθος σου και θα σκυψω να την παρω πισω." - Paradise Lost


And in English...

" There is the other, I cannot resist your sorrowful eyes. They attract me, like a magnet, each time I look at them….My God, your are so beautiful when you smile…Surely, you’re aware of your this; I’d like to make you see your reflection within my eyes. What would you say then? What would be your reaction when you see such beauty?

I’d like to make love to you, all the while looking in your eyes. Right this moment, as I’m talking, I want to make love to you. I want to whisper all the things that you don’t hear, or pretend to not hear, to speak to you without words, with my breath against your neck, with one drop of sweat from my face and for that drop to land on your breast, for me to bend forward to retrieve it."

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© Anastasia Mavromatis 2005 - 2008